Dumdums of the Universe

As we roll toward summer movie season, we’re getting more new trailers. This time, it’s a full trailer for Masters of the Universe, which continues to look very Thor-coded. There are some shots in this trailer that looked ripped directly out of Thor: Ragnarok, and not just because Idris Elba stars in both movies. I guess they figure Ragnarok was a winning recipe, why not try it again with a different blonde space himbo?

Lainey dubbed Masters of the Universe “dumdums of the universe” which is not…wrong. This trailer is emphasizing more of the epic scale of the film, and the action, but there is still a strong whiff of himbo about Adam/He-Man, as played by Nicholas Galitzine. Perhaps Nicholas Galitzine is emerging as one of our great cinematic himbos? We’re in the market for a new one, as Chris Hemsworth has eclipsed 40.

As a himbo ages, he transitions into golden retriever boyfriend energy. He’s housetrained now, less likely to chew on your shoes and load the dishwasher wrong. Now that Chris Hemsworth’s inner himbo is crate trained, we need a fresh new himbo to wreck cultural havoc. (No, it cannot be Connor Storrie or Hudson Williams, they do not have wide-eyed innocent auras. Their auras are chaotic, sure, but they’re more on the black cat side of the equation. They’re unpredictable in ways a himbo is not.) I am still skeptical of a He-Man movie working in the 2020s, but maybe I want it to, a little bit, for Nicholas Galitzine’s sake. He’s giving SUCH good himbo energy in these trailers. Give that blonde man a little treat for understanding the assignment.

Giving much worse energy is Jared Leto as the villain, Skeletor. I don’t think Leto’s curse will affect this movie too much, though, because his face is totally obscured, as is his voice. Like if no one told you that was Jared Leto in the skull mask, would you ever even guess it? I bet he keeps a lower profile during the press tour, too. Whatever weird spell he cast over Hollywood finally faded, he’s been called out point-blank as box office poison, and everyone is side-eyeing his off-camera behaviors, too, so it really would behoove him, from a publicity standpoint, to do the least this summer. Do nothing, even.

The hope for He-Man is that he can compel a Barbie situation, wherein nostalgia and love for the toy brings out audiences, who then get hooked on a good time (both He-Man and Barbie are owned by Mattel). I don’t know if that’s going to work. I don’t think nostalgia for He-Man is as great as that for Barbie, but then, I am fully a hypocrite who loves She-Ra and would be down for a live-action She-Ra movie in a heartbeat. So maybe it’s more that He-Man just isn’t for me, which is fine. But my Xennial older brother, who had tons of He-Man toys growing up, is also not really stoked for this movie. He’s way more into Backrooms, a horror movie inspired by the internet creepypasta of liminal spaces.

There is a big question mark hanging over Masters of the Universe, which has a budget upwards of $200 million and a June 5 release date. So the pressure is on, this is not a modestly budgeted movie that can afford to fail. Interestingly, though, there are no rumors of behind-the-scenes drama on Universe, which is centered on a male character and is directed by Travis Knight—a check in the pro column, he’s a good director—and has only one woman on the topline production team: producer Robbie Brenner, who is the chief content officer for Mattel. So, she’s not directly involved in the creative team for the film, which despite a huge budget and huge pressure and high expectations, was apparently a totally drama-free production.

Really, what separates Universe from Supergirl? The protagonist. In every other way, these are the same type of movie. But only one of them is generating hot takes about creative drama, as if preemptively setting up a scapegoat for a presumed failure. But looking at these two trailers, Supergirl has a lot more obvious appeal. I’m not particularly worried about that movie. But the one I am worried about, the one centered on actual f-cking HE-MAN, is crickets out there. Maybe there really is some conflict on Supergirl and maybe Masters of the Universe has been a totally conflict-free production. Or maybe people just fret harder and put more pressure on movies starring girls. Food for thought.