The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent opens tomorrow, and Nicolas Cage has been doing a full press tour to support it, including returning to late night television after a 14-year absence. He stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night and boy, do I miss movie stars like this on talk shows. The closest we probably get to “unapologetically a Movie Star on national TV” is whenever Keanu pops up on a late night show and does his Zen master routine. In this moment, Nicolas Cage is fully Nicolas Cage, as weird as you expect, and also clearly enjoying himself.


This is what I miss about Movie Stars—it’s supposed to be fun! These days, many actors put on like it’s a drag being even a little bit famous, but Nicolas Cage is one of the most famous people in the world and seems like he’s having a great time. He’s talking about epic nights gambling, two-headed snakes, bat caves, and his pet crow, and more than once asks, “Is that weird?” Yes! You are! SO! Weird! 

But! We love this content! Like, OF COURSE Nicolas Cage once owned a two-headed snake he had to feed with a spatula because the snake heads fought. And OF COURSE he has a pet crow who randomly swears at him. And NATURALLY he once considered buying a cave full of bats so he could get “totally naked” with his wife in the heart of the earth. These are all VERY Nicolas Cage things to do, it’s part of his eternal appeal, just as Keanu’s measured speech and thoughtfulness are part of his. By the gods old and new, PLEASE send us more proper Movie Stars who LIKE being Movie Stars and share with us these entertaining glimpses into their completely bonkers lives. “Stars just like us” are so boring. Bring back eccentric Movie Stars!