Thinnification Oscar Thinnification: Victoria Beckham Posh! We get it! We’ll never ever question whether or not some yo yo crack whore dieter like Lindsay Lohan is thinner than you…never again. You keep it consistent. You maintain the Skinny. You relentlessly pursue the brink point of emaciation vs survival. You are the Boniest Queen By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 05:41 am
Award Season Hair 2009 Programming Note Oscar ratings look to be up between 6 – 10% this year over last, considered a modest success. Twihards are probably taking credit for this. Anyway, I have a flight out of LA this afternoon. And I have to check out soon. So I’m rushing to pack to get to By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 05:01 am
Gorgessity Oscar Portman My husband is making me post this. You know, my husband who looks like a frog? Quick aside about what he does look like. …. …. …. Many of my friends have recently remarked John Mayer. You cannot imagine my agony. Honestly, HONESTLY I’d rather him look like a frog. Anyway, Natalie By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 04:56 am
Style Oscar I’m over you: Anne Hathaway Let’s start with eating. Squirrels should eat more because otherwise their eyes go buggy. I’m a bitch, I’ll say it for you. I’ve already said it over and over again anyway. Sometimes she looks like a squirrel. But Duana was all like – oh she’s so By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 04:43 am
Style Oscar finally: Freida Pinto Loved it. Finally not a prom dress. Maybe not the hair but the blue and the detail and the way it moved – in person this was magnificent. In person she popped. In person it took away the headache of Beyonce and replaced it with a calm serenity. In person this By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 04:20 am
Parent Pimps Oscar sit your dumbass DOWN: Miley Cyrus As I said on the show last night, Dolly Parton exploded all over her dress. I can’t…I can’t talk about this dress. Like what the f-ck in hick town hill billy is she wearing? And seriously, did her parents raise her in a convenience store? Please… Please By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 03:57 am
Gorgessity Best Oscar Hair: Taraji P Henson I love her so much. I love that there aren’t five million things attached to her head. I love that if I told you she woke up with hair looking pretty much like this you’d believe me. Don’t you prefer when someone shows up on a carpet By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 03:38 am
Bad Style Worst Oscar Hair: Alicia Keys This hurts me. Very badly. Because I love her. She is perfect. She is kind and smart and she purrs. Michelle says she purrs when she talks. She can purr in my ear all day. Of course she’s sooooo beautiful too. But the hair, the hair is so obviously By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 03:18 am
Award Season Hair 2009 Best Oscar Bitch Face: Penelope Cruz Apparently winning an Oscar now gives her the right to demonstrate her Bitch Face. Amazing. At the very end of the Hugh Jackman/Beyonce/Mamma Mia number, Hugh shouted out “Musicals are back”! Or something to that effect. Take a look at Pene’s expression. She does not agree. Penelope By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 02:54 am
Twilight Oscar Open Mouth Posing: Robert Pattinson Again…back to the pool feed. Laura, my producer, who is still aching for him, almost launched herself off the balcony when he walked by. This is after Daniel Craig, her other love, had passed earlier and she barely reacted except to hiss into my face: Satsuki is ugly! We’ By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 02:33 am
Bad Style Oscar LipGloss and borrowed prunes: Zac Efron & VH MK Olsen, having no use for them anymore after the Spirit Awards, loaned her prunes to Vanessa Hudgens last night who gave them a very good workout, in between moments when she wasn’t scowling about her dress. Bitch, if you can’t control the dress, don’t f-ckin’ wear By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 02:12 am
Bad Style Worst Oscar Couple: SJP & Matthew Broderick He was BORED. He looked bored from the moment they arrived, he looked bored up and down the carpet, he looked bored at Vanity Fair, he looked bored because he wasn’t doing what HE wanted. This photo of them touching noses – the man is straight up queasy at the By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 01:58 am
Gorgessity Best Oscar couple: Josh Brolin and Diane Lane He flew way under the radar this awards season in a category dominated by Heath Ledger. Best part about Josh Brolin however is that he didn’t seem to mind. They were chill last night he and Diane. Very relaxed, enjoying the moment, knowing there was no chance, totally free By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 01:49 am
Bad Style Worst Oscar Red: Amanda Seyfried You know I love her. And her hair in Mamma Mia was my hair inspiration last night. Amanda Seyfried is definitely a “next”. Most of Meryl’s girls are: Emily Blunt, Amy Adams, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfriend… only Lindsay Lohan managed to f-ck it up. But Amanda, for her first By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 01:11 am
Ebola Victims Oscar Ebola Victim: Mickey Rourke Loki could not save Mickey. Oh Loki. You saw it coming, didn’t you? Last Monday in New York, Mickey Rourke stumbles into Butter and it happens to be Ebola Paris Hilton’s birthday party. Instead of leaving, he sits down and celebrates with her… and suddenly his beloved dog By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 12:53 am
Cheese Best Oscar Actors and a Cheese It’s quite a group isn’t it? Can you picture Mickey sliding in there? No… Mickey is not one of them. Adrien Brody is very much one of them, even though he’s a hypocrite douche. Like, did you hear him during the presentation? While introducing Richard Jenkins, he By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 12:38 am
