Clown Tori Spelling = My Elbow Vagina Since that stupid twat Mischa Barton broke my arm I’ve spent the summer collecting scarves. Some are silk, some have skulls, and stars, and seashells and swirly symbols, all to conceal an ugly scar and its even uglier growth. I noticed about 2 weeks after my stitches came out. By Lainey • Jul 22, 2008 05:43 am
BFFs The Best New Besties! Amazing! Emma Watson aka Hermoine Granger has a new BFF. Only the best BFF, like, ever. Her name? Bee Shaffer, daughter of none other than Anna Wintour who could probably wither even Bellatrix Lestrange. One of the great honours of my life was being visually dismissed by Ms Wintour at By Lainey • Jul 22, 2008 04:09 am
Jessica Simpson Maggie in a jumpsuit LOVE it. Love, love, love! My Maggie Gyllenhaal in a jumpsuit yesterday on the carpet for The Dark Knight premiere in London not looking like every other generic starlet in a strapless dress. But you have to be tall and lanky. Jessica Simpson, for instance, should never, ever, ever attempt. By Lainey • Jul 22, 2008 02:49 am
Christian Bale Please...not....him Christian Bale walked the carpet yesterday in London at the European premiere of The Dark Knight, hot as ever, but with a little more gravitas than usual. Initially thought perhaps he was tired of the dog and pony show, given his penchant for extreme privacy... turns out something more sinister By Lainey • Jul 22, 2008 02:41 am
Leonardo DiCaprio Leo Love Bars…still They’re engaged, then they aren’t seen together in public so they break up, then five minutes later it’s like they’re walking down the aisle – according to the tabloids, Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Rafaeli have a rather dramatic love. Or maybe he’s just so undercover he By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 10:38 am
Gossip Girl Hiding His Pretty Hayden Christensen was in LA this weekend with girlfriend Rachel Bilson – seen here running errands. Hayden hasn’t worked in a while. And since he’s also trying to break out of the box of teen pop appeal, like so many of his pretty boy peers, Hayden is hiding his By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 07:55 am
Frauds Angie is fatter than Granny The clever folks at Bauer Griffin were able to capture the first shots of Angelina Jolie out of the hospital, on the grounds of the Pitt Family chateau watching her kids play. You will note that even the skinny ass Angie, always at the centre of ridiculous heroin rumours that By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 07:08 am
Famewhores Granny had a baby? When? In 1988? Just kidding! Really? Because Gran totally had her baby 2 weeks ago – remember? Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s daughter Sunday was born on a Monday. Just 4 days after that, a glowing Granny went out for lunch with friends. And as you can see, her stomach is By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 04:39 am
Douchebags Carb Face and his gray pants There’s a saying in Chinese: One type rice feeds one hundred type people. Sort of like…to each their own. Or, as my mother so gracefully reminded me when I told her one day that I could get away with a short skirt: whores eat our rice too. If By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 04:17 am
Gorgessity Me Day for Halle Halle Berry is sick. Like…ridiculous. Like sooo ridiculously beautiful. Halle enjoyed a “me” day yesterday, shopping in Beverly Hills, going for ice cream with a friend, and proudly showing off pictures of baby Nahla. Am all over the floppy hat. And the bag. Interestingly enough, Halle has been frank By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 03:50 am
Essences The Essence of Nelson Marcus is my first dog. But I have a dog because of Nelson. I was Nelson’s nanny for the first few weeks after Julie brought him home. He’d come over and we’d hang out. He’d pee all over my floor. He’d sleep in his crate By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 03:25 am
Quiveration All Star Becks David Beckham and the LA Galaxy played the New York Red Bulls this weekend – here’s the hotness warming up before the game, quivering me with his crazy cut arms. And the side view of Becks is second to none. I like the abs/ass combination. The slight bulge from By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 03:05 am
Bad Style The Thinnification of Tom Cruise There were photos published very recently of Tom Cruise taking his shirt off, showing off some middle aged back fat. A meltdown, mental AND physical, clearly ensued. Because Tom Cruise turned up at a racing event in Laguna Seca on Sunday showing off a much more streamlined physique. Check out By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 02:55 am
Katie Holmes Robo with a real man This is Katie Holmes shooting scenes with Jonny Lee Miller the other day on the set of Eli Stone. And even though that hair is still ass, being left unsupervised in the presence of an attractive man and not a gay fraud has brought more life to her eyes than By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 02:38 am
Britney Spears Chicken Fried for a good cause Slowly but surely, every week an improvement - There can be miracles, when you believe… Check out Britney this weekend at the Generation Rescue fundraiser alongside Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy in support of autism research. No, no, of course it’s not what once was. And she still looks By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 02:21 am
Quiveration The Reign of The Dark Knight Officially the best opening weekend ever totalling over $150 million with many, many unable to buy tickets the first weekend…which means much, much more to come. To celebrate The Dark Knight’s victory, the Freebie 5 tribute will remain intact for one more day. And for your Monday morning By Lainey • Jul 21, 2008 02:08 am
