The Daily Objection: Charlotte Church Here"s Charlotte at a wireless launch today. Dear sweet goddess…what the F*CK is she wearing? So, like, I used to hate Charlotte Church. But in the last 2 years, girl has worn me down. She"s dirty in a way I find endlessly appealing, you By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Lake Bell The Belle from Hell Now here"s a bitch who needs a slap to Sunday. Sure, she"s rich. But in a town that only celebrates your recent success, what gives her the right to throw her sh*t around? Especially when the glory decade has long since wrapped? A while back, By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
The Daily Footie: Jens Lehmann It"s time a goalkeeper owned the distinction. And I"d argue that Jens Lehmann is the most loin quivering goalkeeper in the tournament. Is it just me or is the keeper uniform the sexiest of the lot? I like long sleeves. I like the long sleeves/gloves By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Last Word Thanks to all who watched my 2 segments on eTalk tonight. And thanks to all who wrote about my tee. It"s called the Butterfly Skull Splatter, the most comfortable thing, like, ever from my new favourite online shopping addiction: ERGE. Please stay away from the Queen Bitch. It By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Brad Pitt The Church of Maddox If for some reason the Goddess decided my time was up tomorrow, I would desperately, desperately want to come back as Maddox Jolie-Pitt. That kid has, like, the best life ever. Here are 5 reasons why I worship at the altar of Maddox J0lie-Pitt: - Madd never has to walk. By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Ben Affleck Jennifer Lopez: Hollywood Voldemort? My thanks to the lovely Samantha S for the deliciously smutty tip! But first…some background. Three marriages ago and way, way before superstardom, Jennifer Lopez was hitched to a man named Ojani Noa. He was a waiter, she was an ambitious actress, they fell in love, her career took By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Jennifer Hudson Kate at the beach Not too long ago, Kate Hudson was battling anorexia rumours after being photographed looking like a bag o" bones - see attached. For Ryder"s sake, I"m happy she"s embraced a less frightening size. Still slender obviously, but nowhere near the danger zone she By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Avril Lavigne Avril & Deryck: accelerated nuptials Gloating alert. Skip if you don"t care for it. Waaaay back, on April 17th, I reported exclusively on eTalk that Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibbley had sent out their invitations for a wedding ceremony, clearly printed for August 26th in Santa Barbara. At the time, her publicist had By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Lindsay Lohan Mischa Barton: outside good, inside bad In London for the Pirates premiere the other night. Such a shame, non? That a package this gorgeous conceals a stinking rotten soul? Because Mischa Barton is undeniably beautiful. Great skin, great bone structure, great features - only she could rock this little frock and not elicit scorn. Only she By Lainey • Jul 05, 2006 08:00 am
Lindsay Lohan Tara Reid: Drunkorexic I can"t take credit for coining the term. That distinction belongs to dear divine Dean at eTalk with whom I was just discussing the phenomenon a few days ago. Alright girls and gays…don"t lie. I know you know what I"m talking about. It& By Lainey • Jul 03, 2006 08:00 am
Elton John The Daily Hot Heartbreak: Becks and John Terry So I hate to turn such an awful moment into fodder for my fantasies but I can"t help it. Something about the way David is holding John"s face so tenderly, something about two sweaty men on the pitch, raw with emotion, seeking solace in each other, By Lainey • Jul 03, 2006 08:00 am
Zinedine Zidane The Daily Footie: Zinedine Zidane Zizou might not be the prettiest boy on the field. And he certainly isn"t the most follicularly (is that a word??) blessed. But there is something to be said for the intangible. Confidence is sexy. Leadership is sexy. Unbridled skill that matches confidence and leadership is sexy. The By Lainey • Jul 03, 2006 08:00 am
Joaquin Consuelos: a boyfriend for Apple? So my best friend Erin didn"t think it was a very good idea when I suggested Romeo for Apple a couple of weeks ago. Something about Posh and Gwynnie driving a wedge between their love and necessitating a Romeo & Apple Shakespearean suicide that obviously isn"t By Lainey • Jul 03, 2006 08:00 am
Elton John The PERFECT Pirate: Johnny Depp No words required. Enjoy. By Lainey • Jul 03, 2006 08:00 am
Tori Spelling The Daily Cellie: Tori Spelling Doesn"t look like the Us Weekly article did her any favours, does it? Because just a week after her father"s passing, Tori is now being criticised for spending time at the pool with a new brunette "do and a surprisingly ample bottom. I have no By Lainey • Jul 03, 2006 08:00 am
Victoria Beckham The impressive Rachel Hunter Now here"s a beach body I can get fully behind. Nary a dimple and trust me, I"ve been looking! I see curves, I see breasts, I see evidence of food, I see well preserved but not obsessively so…I see Rachel Hunter and I wonder - By Lainey • Jul 03, 2006 08:00 am
