Ben Affleck Introducing Violet Affleck Everybody’s talking about it. The first semi-clear photo of 4 month old Violet Affleck, lovingly held by her mother. Like all babies, she’s cute as hell. But because of her mother, I"m too bored to say anything else. Jennifer Garner is nothing if not taupe. By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline JLH: two faced and slutty For the love of Audrey, would this skank ass bitch PLEASE stop pretending she’s Hepburn? Ain’t gonna happen, honey. Because Audrey would never have let Wilmer Valderrama try out his 8 inches in her high class garage. She also wouldn’t blaze a trampy trail through half of By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
George Clooney George Clooney has bad taste Look. I know that despite some rather kinky predilections, the man is almost perfect . I know you want him on the Freebie 5. But something"s been holding me back, aside from the fact that he might be just a tad out of my maturity range. The thing is By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Jennifer Aniston Kevin (still) hates Reese If you read my column from a couple of weeks ago, you are probably already familiar with the fact that Reese Witherspoon is not high on Kevin Smith’s love list. And even though that article was written a few years ago, Kevin’s hate-on is still erect and pulsing. By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Kudos for Kim At the premiere for a new movie. Pics from Saving Face. I’d like to applaud Kim Basinger for the way she’s aging her face. If she’s had work done she hiding it well. Her wrinkles seem appropriately clustered, the lips aren’t threatening to pop, her eyes By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Wilmer Valderrama: big mouth, big c*ck You want to know how this guy gets so much snatch? The magic numbers are 20 below. Which is the why the only p*ssy Wilmer Valderrama has managed to weasel his 8 inch manhood into is of the teenage variety. And Jennifer Love Hewitt, of course. But then again, By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Lindsay Lohan Kudos for Christina At the Tiffany event the other night. See how normal her forehead looks now that she’s put on a little weight? I like Christina Ricci. I think she’s a great actor. I like it even more when she’s not so hungry. Always a shame when you see By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Elton John Dear Johnson & Johnson Gotta thank the sponsors who are flying me out for the occasion. Big smutty hug and kiss to Jim Dean at Johnson & Johnsonfor the generous gift! Love that you"re supporting the event, love that you"re supporting the Rouge Valley Foundation! By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Jennifer Aniston Jennifer Aniston looks lovely Well doesn’t she??? Here’s Jen at the premiere of Friends With Money. For Sony"s sake, let’s hope the film does well before she ends up blaming the director and the script and everyone else but herself. Sorry, I digress. Back to the compliments. I like By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
On the Rouge Carpet I"ve had the honour of being asked by the Rouge Valley Foundation in Ontario to MC their annual gala in Toronto on March 31st at the super swanky Liberty Grand! The theme is Hollywood, the dress code is high glam, and a diamond necklace is being raffled off By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Impatient & addicted A musician who loves his smack. How original. It would help though if he actually had some talent. But in the singsong department, I"m sorry to report that he doesn"t, despite the liberal application of black eyeliner. If only he kept better company, maybe then he By Lainey • Mar 26, 2006 07:00 am
The Daily Ugly: Anna Kournikova The girl needs an intervention, y"all. Is it safe to say that out loud now? Take a look at Anna leaving the gym sans maquillage. This is not the face of someone who is doing her body good. In fact, I"d say she"s been By Lainey • Mar 26, 2006 07:00 am
The Daily Ugly: LFB I don"t even know what to say about this. What can you say about it??? Did you know she"s only 36??? And the tragic thing is, once upon a time, Lara Flynn Boyle was a VERY beautiful woman. Great face, even better nose - you know By Lainey • Mar 26, 2006 07:00 am
Keira Knightley Keira: a new year with a new man It was a popular week for celebrity birthdays. Keira Knightley rang in her 21st in flapper style in London with new boyfriend Rupert in tow. Not my favourite get up, especially since she looks like a possessed doll but hey, at the very least, her massive jaw isn"t By Lainey • Mar 26, 2006 07:00 am
Gwyneth Paltrow It"s not Mortimer Martin I know you must be sick and tired of me saying this but please gossips, please beware of amateur gossip. Gwyneth Paltrow, despite what you have read, is not naming her kid Mortimer. It was a joke she made for an online interview with Ross Mathews. Here"s my By Lainey • Mar 26, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline Britney & Kevin: ugly but happy in Atlanta Mrs. Federline decided to send Janice Min and the folks at Us Weekly a huge "F&CK YOU" this weekend by showing up in Atlanta for Kfed"s weeklong birthday party. As you can see from the accompanying photos, the Federlines look happy. Oily and dirty, By Lainey • Mar 26, 2006 07:00 am
