A week after a pompy Prince Andrew showed up King Charles’s coronation in a velvet royal robe trying to use the moment of flash to remind people that he’s a still a noble, we’re hearing that he’s refusing to leave Royal Lodge, his home in Windsor. 


Charles had reportedly previous told Andrew that he will no longer receive the £250,000 that the late Queen was giving him every year to pay for the maintenance of the residence which basically means he has to get the f-ck out and move to Frogmore Cottage, which is Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s former home. Supposedly they wanted Andrew to vacate the premises by September so that Prince William and Kate could move in with their families. But now, according to the Mail on Sunday, Andrew is “refusing to budge”. A friend of Andrew’s tells the Mail that: 

“He is so fragile. He’s refusing to see anybody. This has been his family home for the past 20 years. Is it really sensible to kick him out? He’s concerned that now the Coronation is over, the knives are out. He’s worried that the Royals might even turn off the utilities to get him out of there. But we’re dealing with human beings, not real estate.”


Sounds like a sympathy play, right? This isn’t a leak against Andrew, it’s a leak in favour of Andrew. He’s making an appeal, as if to say – don’t you feel bad for me, that my brother is evicting me, and that I’m being forced out of the home where I’ve been living for 20 years?! Have mercy! 

Sure, but let’s not forget why Andrew is so skint. The reason he’s not a working royal is because of his association with the dead rapist pedophile Jeffrey Epstein and his associate Ghislaine Maxwell. He’s been accused by several women who were sex trafficked by Epstein and Maxwell of participating in said crimes. He refused to cooperate with US authorities who were investigating the case. He settled a lawsuit with one of the victims, Virginia Giuffre. And also, he’s a buffoon who went on national television to talk about his defective sweat glands, an embarrassment to the institution and the current shame of his family. 


That’s why he’s skint. That’s why he can’t afford to live there. And that’s why he’s being asked to downsize. To a place that is still on royal lands, by the way. It’s not like they’re throwing him out and making him move into a basement apartment underneath a butcher shop. 

But of course the Mail fails to mention that because it seems like they’re now Andrew’s unofficial mouthpiece, publicly imploring the king for a summit to negotiate his living arrangements. That too is humiliating – a 63-year-old prince having to beg his brother, the king, through the tabloids for an audience and mildly threatening to squat at Royal Lodge where he is now living beyond his means. Can we call him that, then? If Charles ultimately relents and allows Andrew to remain there without being able to afford it, can we call him the Royal Squatter? Can that be his new title? 

Here's Andrew today, all smiles, while out for a drive in Windsor.