❗
Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

PEOPLE Magazine has been getting its ass kicked since the beginning of the year by Us Weekly on exclusives: Justin Timberlake’s engagement, Drew Barrymore’s pregnancy, Michelle Williams/Jason Segel first photos as a couple, to name a few. Each time, PEOPLE follows with a story half a day, sometimes a full day, later with “sources” of their own confirming what Us Weekly scooped earlier. I wonder then if their new cover has anything to do with them sucking sh-t on celebrity headlines for several months.

Here’s this week’s issue celebrating the one year anniversary of Will and Kate’s wedding. Baby news is a big seller. Royal baby news and the arrival of a new prince or princess, even more so.

Is she then?

Is Catherine Cambridge carrying the heir?

Well, it’s the difference between a question mark and an exclamation point, isn’t it?

This is a tactic commonly used by the lesser publications - Star, In Touch, Life & Style - to attract the attention of those who don’t bother reading punctuation, but seldom by PEOPLE. Unless they are desperate.

IS SHE PREGNANT?

I don’t know motherf-cker. That’s why I’m paying you $3.99 to find out. Are you telling me or what?

The closest they come is to say that William and Catherine may be cancelling a trip to Africa and that the Palace has been increasingly touchy about pregnancy questions. In other words, the whole story is a “make a story”. Just in time for Easter.

Us Weekly meanwhile is declaring definitively that Kate Cambridge is NOT expecting and has nothing to announce. I tend to believe their version more than PEOPLE, if only because I really can’t see Mrs Cambridge waddling around the Olympic events looking any less lean than the athletes.

Share this post