It’s been almost a week since Tom Brady announced another retirement. I guess now he has to find new sh-t to do so he’s turning his attention to his various businesses, like BRADY, his line of apparel. I’d never heard of BRADY before yesterday but I definitely know about it now since… well… I’m sure you’ve seen it, and maybe you want to unsee it. Too bad, I’m making you see it again. 


I mean, I can’t say I’m unhappy that he did this because it’s so good for the laughs. But other than the LOL, this doesn’t do it for me. Especially not when you compare this shot with the one Sarah’s about to show you in the next post. 

First of all, it’s the image itself. Like if he’s trying to thirst trap, why does he look so miserable? Look at his expression. 

Tom Brady looking miserable

That’s the expression of a man who’s feeling sorry for himself. And is embarrassed for himself. Because he clearly doesn’t know what the f-ck he’s doing. On top of that, when you consider the placement of his hand, the hand that’s not holding the phone, it’s like he’s already considering what his mother might think. And when you’re worried about your mother’s reaction while posing for a thirst trap, it’s a recipe for social media disaster. Is this a thirst trap or a hostage situation? Is he being held hostage by his own desperation? 

A newly single former pro athlete aimlessly navigating his 40s… Tom Brady just became the poster for that character. And the irony here is that, well, he used to be married to one of the great supermodels of our time. Taking a good picture is literally her job. Had Gisele Bundchen been in his life when this image was taken, we would have gotten a much higher quality shot. 

But at least we have the comments. The comment section never disappoints. 

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