King Charles’s coronation is happening a month tomorrow and Buckingham Palace yesterday released a new portrait of Charles and Camilla and also the invitation. It’s the invitation that’s been the conversation, specifically the wording, and it’s not to do with the king himself but Camilla, and how they refer to her. 

 

As you can see, they’ve dropped the “Consort”, which is not surprising. When Queen Elizabeth II died, they went through the motions of calling her Queen Consort Camilla for the optics – but I don’t think anyone was under any illusion that they’d try to get rid of the Consort as soon as possible, and now here we are; the coronation is imminent, and they’ve decided that now would be a good time, just as she’s about to get a crown put on her head, to try to do away with The Reputation. 

 

What reputation? 

Check social media, because her nickname is coming up again today because of the invitation. 

 

May 6 will be King Charles’s Coronation but it will also be a Side Chick Coronation as Camilla takes the seat she has always coveted. And Queen Side Chick is also bringing her whole crew, because they’ve also confirmed the pages. While Prince George is the only legit royal grandchild who will be a page, three of Camilla’s grandchildren will be included, and her great-nephew. Some people are saying that this is a matter of age – but no matter what the reason, the fact that there are four kids from her non-royal bloodline standing up on such a huge occasion (for them) is a big indication of motivation and ambition. 

Charles’s ego certainly has something to do with this. He’s been waiting for this moment his whole life, he’s puffy AF these days, finally no longer a prince but the sovereign – so for him, I would imagine, the “consort” title is a reflection on his monarchy, and he doesn’t want that past to taint his ascendency. This is about the king wanting a proper queen at his side, and not a side chick as his plus one… even though, well, you know, I’m not sure the world will ever forget that “there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded”.

 

But Charles isn’t the only factor here. Camilla’s not just standing around letting people plan sh-t around her…although that’s the narrative they’ve encouraged over the last 20+ years. During these decades of Camilla rehab, leading up to their eventual marriage and afterwards, the story has always been that this was always and only about love. That these two were impossibly and sometimes tragically in love. That circumstance tore them apart and that they’d finally earned their happy ending. In this story Camilla was recast as the ever-loyal companion, the perfect complement to Charles’s temperament, his ideal partner, the woman who always put him first, who never wanted to be in the spotlight, she led with love, content to stay behind him, content to just be in his life, with no designs of her own, happy to stay back with the horses and ride and garden. Basically they rewrote the character and eliminated the THIRST. 

And now?

 

Now she’s not just no longer a consort but she’s splashing her side chick DNA all over the coronation. There is more side chick offspring in the coronation than actual royal offspring. What happened to the version of Camilla who was content to just be in Charles’s life? What happened to the revisionist fairy tale that Camilla had no ambitions beyond just being his wife? And we’re supposed to believe she wasn’t calculating this all along? 

This lines up with what Prince Harry wrote in Spare – the highlighted part is my emphasis: 

“Shortly after our private summits with [Camilla], she began to play the long game. A campaign aimed marriage, and eventually the Crown, with Pa’s blessing we presumed. Stories began to appear everywhere in all the papers about her private conversation with Willy, stories that contained pinpoint accurate details, none of which had come from Willy, of course. They could only have been leaked by the other one other person present."

Camilla’s long game has paid off. The Side Chick has maneuvered herself and her family into the inner circle, setting up her descendants for aristocracy and generations of privilege. God save the Side Chick. Long to reign over us.