Reality Recap: A finale, a fight, a betrayal

This week, Caroline Brooks went absolutely ape sh-t on some of her castmates, namely Chanel Ayan, who she accused of wearing hand-me-downs, and even provided receipts. Yikes. Rachel Leviss is…still talking. This time, it’s about what it would take for her to return to Vanderpump Rules. And lastly, Whitney Wildrose has yet again changed the name of her beauty company, raising eyebrows about what the possible need for so many name changes could be.

The (un)forgettable Real Housewives of New Jersey finale

A whole lot (of nothing) happened when this season of Real Housewives of New Jersey aired its long-awaited season finale. The reason I’m using brackets in that sentence and in the title of this section is because I really don’t know how to feel about what went down. And especially about what didn’t, and what won’t, like the reunion, for example, which I wrote about here. In fact, I’m not even sure if that was the finale, given the teasers for the group rewatch that have been circulating on social media over the last few days.

Here’s what I do know, though. I streamed the show so I got the uncensored version, and if you didn’t watch Dolores Catania calling Margaret Josephs a lying see-you-next-Tuesday without censorship, trust and believe you didn’t see anything. I have never in my life felt, so deeply, the emotion of another, than I did in the moment when Dolores vehemently rejected Margaret telling her that she did in fact give her the heads up about the infamous and hotly contested pre-reunion rundown that happened at the end of last season.

I was in awe watching Margaret finagle herself out of that one, to no avail of course, because as Dolores said so eloquently, she never got the heads up. For unscripted television, this sure reminds me of so many instances in fictional shows and movies where the protagonist learns that the villain is really a villain, a well-known fact to the audience. 

The gaslighting was crazy – with Margaret questioning why Dolores was getting so heated. She knew that her implying Dolores knew about the conversation would make her look like a terrible friend to Teresa, but luckily, Dolores was too smart to take the bait.

Not smart, though, was Jackie Goldschneider, arguably one of the biggest losers to ever be on the show. There is nothing about Jackie that I find tolerable or interesting in the least. To be fair, I totally understand why she met up with Louie’s ex, particularly during the height of her issues with Teresa. But you’ve got to know that doing that therefore renders your relationship with Teresa irreparable. And if you are going to try and make amends, you have to disclose that you met with the enemy! 

Like, what is going on in the heads of these women? Do they think this stuff isn’t going to come out? Jackie stood there talking to Dolores as Margaret sent Dolores screenshots of Jackie calling her a slob. Did she really think that Margaret wouldn’t air out the fact that she met with the ex, particularly during a heated finale when it was, quite frankly, the only lifeline Margaret had left?

No wonder the franchise is on the express train to a shakeup, even Andy Cohen says it’s needed. Melissa Gorga and Rachel Fuda don’t have storylines without Teresa. Margaret only has storylines when she’s exposing others. Danielle Cabral is too angry and easily triggered by Jennifer Aydin, which, by the way, prompted a producer to step in.

If you ask me, Jennifer is the real MVP of this show. She’s got tons of money. She’s got the biggest house. She’s got the best reads and sense of humour out of all of them. And this season she proved that she’s not afraid of anyone. Not Margaret, not Danielle, or her husband, Nate. With his boobs – classic.

Ayan is a master manipulator

#VoicenoteGate, which I first wrote about here in July, continues over on the Real Housewives of Dubai, and it’s forcing seismic shifts in the group – thanks to Chanel Ayan showing her ass in how she navigated the whole ordeal. 

After the dinner, Ayan stormed off, and Lesa, despite being pissed with her for sharing the voice note with Caroline Stanbury of all people, went to check on her. And rather than do what any normal, ethical human being would do and take accountability, she blew up on Lesa for saying she was untrustworthy. Newsflash, you are untrustworthy if you share a private voice note (that wasn’t supposed to be shared with you in the first place) with the arch nemesis of the person that shared it with you!

To be quite frank, all of this leaves Lesa entirely vindicated and validated in the concerns she had over Ayan and Stanbury becoming friends in the first place. It’s a complete conflict of interest, and this is exactly what she didn’t want happening - the back and forth, the throwing under the bus, the shady, sketchy sh-t we see all the time on these shows.

Watching this episode air, though, Ayan reminded me so much of Messy Margaret Josephs. We saw Marge be especially manipulative and gaslight everyone and their mother. But the difference between these two is that Margaret is at least smart about her manipulation. Ayan is just…chaotic. 

Her deciding to stay back at the hotel when the women go out to party actually served as a huge favour to the group, because they were able to get drunk and have a good time. In fact, Stanbury actually danced. Like, on a stage! Looks like all the group needed was some petrol-strength tequila and a night out, sans Ayan.

That’s why friendships between unlikely parties are being forged. Taleen is becoming increasingly likeable, which is why she paid Stanbury a visit to her room, despite Stanbury taking her to task weeks prior about her being a sloppy drunk and showing her vajayjay at the Beyonce concert. And I’d bet my last dollar that Caroline Brooks, despite Lesa and Ayan finally making peace, is going to be inching closer to Lesa, basking in the glory of “the house of cards falling”, as she puts it.

Tamra Judge and Alexis Bully-no are thirsty for the spotlight

We knew this season of Real Housewives of Orange County was going to be messy, with production bringing in the new girlfriend of Shannon Beador’s ex, but I had no idea Tamra was going to be such a nasty co-conspirator in the takedown of one of her former best friends and business partners.

Since the very first episode, Tamra and Alexis have been thick as thieves in their attempt to paint Shannon in a bad light. Not much is needed there, with her DUI charges and lawsuits going on. Still, their crusade to have her be disliked by everybody continues.

It was nice that ex-RHOC star Vicki Gunvalson came in and made it clear that Tamra’s behaviour has been less than favourable – a claim that her and Alexis fought tooth and nail against (naturally). It looks like the other women are starting to clue into the fact that Alexis has a really unhealthy obsession with Shannon. 

It’s a sentiment that Emily Simpson echoed in a recent Watch What Happens Live appearance, and one that Twitter users seem to agree with, too. I also notice that whenever John Janssen is brought up, it’s most commonly by the other women, rather than Shannon herself. She really does seem to be trying to move on, but Alexis is hanging onto that storyline for dear life. She might not be the brightest, but she’s smart enough to know that she’ll be rendered irrelevant if that old and new girlfriend dynamic disappears.