Elizabeth Olsen, Miles Teller, and Callum Turner in Eternity

Watch out, bitches, I’m in my Scrooge era, here to take a wrecking ball to David Freyne’s lifeless afterlife rom-com—that is short on both rom and com—Eternity. Directed by Freyne and co-written by Freyne and Pat Cunnane, Eternity is about the afterlife of three entwined souls. 

First, there is Larry, played as an elderly man by Barry Primus but for the majority of the film appears as Miles Teller. Upon choking to death on a pretzel, Larry learns the following things: 

1. You appear how you see yourself in your afterlife. Larry sees himself in his prime, so that is how he appears.
2. There are no heaven and hell, at least not as we know them through religion.
3. The afterlife is a giant mid-century terminal with a convention floor where unexplained eternal beings sell various afterlives to the lately dead.
4. Once you enter an afterlife, you can never leave it.

Intending to spend his eternity with his wife, Joan, Larry settles in to wait. There are some good jokes early on as Larry discovers the gap between what he believed of eternity and what it actually is—as a never-ending timeshare sales pitch, you have to wonder if Larry is, indeed, in hell—and we get to see advertisements for various afterlives. The winner is easily “Man-Free World: You’ve dealt with your last man!” It’s sold out, but don’t worry, another extension is coming soon! 

So much of the comedy revolves around the marketing of various afterlives, rather than stemming from the characters themselves. It makes for some good gags, but this is an incredibly bleak vision of the afterlife. Your eternity is based on only one facet of your personality/interests, no take backs, if you try to do something else (for once, implied), you’re disappeared into a void no one talks about. Alternatively, you can work forever in the travel convention selling afterlives to others, which I am still not convinced wasn’t this world’s version of hell. Eternal work or eternal sameness, how is this different from reality? It’s a joyless vision of eternity. 

For those who don’t move on, there is a haunting eternity of labor. Anna (Da’Vine Joy Randolph) and Ryan (John Early) are “afterlife coordinators”, who help their assigned deceased move on to their desired eternity. Anna picks up Larry, and soon enough, Ryan is given the newly dead Joan, who arrives at the afterlife terminal in the form of Elizabeth Olsen. Larry is elated to see her, but Ryan swoops in—he represents not only Joan, but her late first husband, the tragically handsome Luke (Callum Turner), who died tragically young at war. He’s been waiting nearly 70 years for Joan to appear, so they can finally spend their (after)life together.

Eternity has the trappings of a romantic screwball comedy, and Elizabeth Olsen, at least, gets into that rhythm as a leading lady. Her performance and Miles Teller’s are aptly charming as old people enjoying their refreshed young bodies—Joan’s amazement at her regained ability to do calisthenics is genuinely fun and cute. But Freyne and Cunnane’s script leaves the central trio high and dry, once their dynamic is established, as well as Joan’s dilemma of having to choose between her two husbands, Eternity goes no deeper than the setup. There is an exciting moment when it seems Joan might choose a whole new life for herself by running away to Paris World with her dead best friend, Karen (Olga Merediz), but that is quickly abandoned: never a serious option for Joan. (Why not???)

Randolph and Early at least bring some sparkle and real comedy chops to the proceedings. In fact, THEY are the rom-com I wish I watching. If I can’t have Karen and Joan’s afterlife lesbian liberation, then at least give me Anna and Ryan’s enemies-to-lovers arc. But Eternity is stuck on Larry, Luke, and Joan, which should make for fertile ground, but it doesn’t largely because Joan is a non-entity in her own eternity. Larry gets to wrestle with feelings of inadequacy after spending a lifetime feeling second-best to Luke, while Luke is desperately trying to make up for lost time. Joan, meanwhile, makes lots of “oh gosh!” faces and looks unbearably chic in jeans and a button down. Olsen just isn’t given enough to do, even though she is, on paper, the emotional fulcrum of the story.

Eternity’s facile rom-com trappings will serve well enough if you just refuse to think any deeper than the sales pitch, but that’s almost impossible to do because so much of the film’s rhetoric is about making sure you make the right choice for your eternity. And it’s obvious how Joan’s choice will go, because it becomes clear Freyne & Co. are not interested in making any thought-provoking choices. Eternity will not push any of its characters to do anything uncomfortable or challenge the status quo of heteronormative relationships, even in an eternity of boundless possibility. Eternity has two good jokes (Man-Free World and Larry and Luke’s odd couple sniping), and it promptly runs them into the ground. If I had to choose one movie to watch for eternity, it wouldn’t be Eternity.

Eternity will play exclusively in theaters starting today, November 26, 2025.