I went to the movies last weekend and there was a preview for Valerian before it started. It was mostly Cara Delevingne and Dane DeHaan talking, not very compellingly to be honest, about why people should go see it. And then something about how Valerian is Star Wars before Star Wars, what? I just googled. Apparently those who know about these things have long noted that Star Wars borrowed from Valerian. And I understand why they might want to use that as a selling feature. But I don’t know if I’m buying it for that reason. There is, however, one thing that Valerian has that Star Wars doesn’t have. And it’s my reason for considering going to see Valerian: Rihanna.

Rihanna's total screen time in Valerian is probably less than 10 minutes. I don’t know this for sure, I’m just assuming. That said, I would probably pay the full ticket price for just those 10 minutes. This is why they cast Rihanna in the first place, non?

Here she is at last night’s premiere in fluffy pink Giambattista Valli, a look only she could pull off. On anyone else, it’s atrocious, tacky and cheap. On Rihanna, it’s an event. On Rihanna it’s a dress that becomes the entire event, something she would have been aware of when she chose it. Because Rihanna knows how we react to her clothes. And since she’s Rihanna, even though she’s probably in the movie for only 10 minutes, she also knows that she’s one of the few people who can dress like the only lead even when she’s a supporting player. Please. Since when does Rihanna ever fade to the background.