The Mormon wives delivered (on good TV)

Over the weekend, I cleared my schedule to make time for the return of Selling Sunset. It had been months since I got to indulge in watching a bunch of rich, catty realtors that don’t believe in sneakers or trackpants fight with each other while getting to indulge in some real estate porn. What could possibly be better than that? Nothing, right?

Wrong. I happened upon a Hulu show called The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and I immediately abandoned my plans of bingeing Selling Sunset in favour of whatever this salacious title promised. The show name itself included three of my favourite things: secrets, wives, and Mormons. But the show surpassed my expectations, venturing into some pretty uncharted territory, even by the wildest reality TV standards. 

While many news outlets reported on the backlash the show has received, namely for its title and some of the allegations made by the women on the show (which prompted the LDS church to release a statement on its website last month before the show launched) the social media chatter was a far cry from this, celebrating the quality of the content, instead.

It’s been a while since a reality show has received such overwhelmingly positive feedback from the social media crowd, which can be a pretty particular group, to say the least. There’s a good chance that anyone flocking to social media to live-tweet or reflect on what they thought of a reality show is usually either a seasoned expert that knows the history and evolution of different reality TV franchises, or a brand-new convert trying to learn the lay of the land. But no matter which side of the fence the social media users I came across this weekend found themselves on, the one thing we all agreed on was that The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is reality TV gold. I guess the question is, why? What makes this show so good? 

If I had to sum it up in one sentence, I’d say the main reason the show is getting such rave reviews online is because it quenches the thirst of a wide range of reality TV fans through its polarizing cast, which includes a dynamic group of young Mormon women who gained visibility on social media through a group they created and dubbed Momtok, with a woman named Taylor Paul at the helm. Whether you’re a novice or a die-hard reality TV consumer, you are guaranteed to find intriguing storylines from these women as they navigate the trials and tribulations of motherhood, marriage, divorce, and of course, religion. 

If it ended at that, I’d say we had more than enough ingredients for good TV. But the show goes way beyond this and gives us a closer look at the palpable tension between the group which is heightened by their online visibility and responsibilities to still create content and land brand deals; the divide between being a traditional Mormon vs. a “progressive Mormon”; and of course, the role their partners play in all of this against a backdrop of a religion that, even in its most modern form, many would agree prioritizes the needs and expectations of men.

Having watched just about every documentary to ever be made about the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it’s refreshing to be on the not-so-fundamental side of things, not having to digest, yet again, the disturbing details surrounding Warren Jeffs, who served as the president of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. But despite the group the show is centered around being more modern, non-fundamentalist, and “progressive”, as they refer to themselves, it’s clear that religion is still a huge part of their life. 

All of this adds to the dynamic of certain scenes. For instance, there’s a scene where the group is in a hot tub after a baby blessing, and one couple brings out a flask with alcohol. Some people in the group drink alcohol and others stick to soda (an allowable vice for Mormons who are expected to abstain from alcohol and coffee). But in this instance, they’re doing so in the home of Jen Affleck’s in-laws (yes, she married into that Affleck family), and they are devout Mormons who would not be okay with this. But they’re unaware that alcohol is being served in their backyard.

It's this same tone of secrecy that we saw with grown adults having to sneak alcohol into a hot tub that serves as a constant hum throughout the show that makes everything so much more interesting. There is so much secret sex, and even allegations of secret swinging by Taylor, which is what initially rocked the group back in 2022. 

Because of the religious aspect, the audience is constantly finding themselves having to grapple with their own beliefs, therefore putting them in the position of being judge and jury – and from a production standpoint, this is the best possible spot to put your audience in. It’s why we watch reality TV. We want to forget about what we’re being judged for in our daily lives and do the judging instead.

That is the precise reason why watching the women in their relationships and marriages, specifically, is so intriguing. We get to watch on as men like Zac and Dakota carry on like absolute f-ck boys, grappling with gambling and porn addictions and infidelity while their women partners are the ones making the money and doing the real heavy-lifting and being held to a much higher standard any of these men have ever been. You get to see the pressure these women are under by their religious community, their families, their partners and others within the group.

Another thing that contributed to the success of this show was the timing of the release. In last week’s Reality Recap, I mentioned my theory that things always heat up on TV when the weather starts to chill, with more people being at home and whatnot. And releasing this on what was, for many in Canada, anyway, the first weekend after back-to-school meant an entire segment of exhausted parents who had no intentions of doing anything other than couch-rotting this weekend.

But beyond that, there has been a vested interest in the lives of “trad wives” recently, and whether intentionally or not, this show really leverages the current fascination with that lifestyle. At one point, the show’s (true villain) Whitney, literally visits a homestead to see if that kind of living arrangement could be a reality for her family. 

The interesting thing about this was that Whitney visits the homestead while the rest of the group is on a pretty sinful trip to Vegas, which is what revealed Zac’s gambling issues, funded by his wife, of course, and sees the women attend a steamy Chippendales show. And I think that sort of juxtaposition is representative of the show as a whole. 

This show hits on a ton of culturally significant and timely themes – and with a young, fame-hungry cast that banks on visibility in order to secure brand deals that help them feed their families, they approached this show with vulnerability and left it all on the screen. This is something more established casts in more established shows haven’t been able to do since the earlier, less popular seasons, over fears of repercussions that might impact them off-screen.

And that’s what is missing in the current reality TV landscape – a cast willing to throw caution to the wind. I’ve griped about boring casts and a lack of nuance, but that is simply not the case with this show. These women brought very authentic versions of themselves, and if they didn’t, they sure played the part. And that is how you do reality TV.