Sorry. SORRY. That word is lame as f-ck. “Faceoff.” But I couldn’t quite land on another one. Confrontation seems too serious. Triangle isn’t accurate. And of course it all sucks anyway because this is two girls petty-ing over a guy, a situation in which there can be no winner but…


Nobody ever complained about a fashion faceoff, right?

So we have Selena Gomez in Coach, as predicted. And as I noted, Coach has really stepped up on ready-to-wear lately. Great sweaters, great jackets, really cute dresses. I was wearing Coach on etalk and The Social yesterday:

But as much as I love my dress, it’s not MET Gala worthy. As much as Coach has been bringing it recently on the clothing side, with Selena as the brand’s ambassador, the label still doesn’t have the design muscle to be a player at an event like this. Which is why she ended up in such a nothingburger of a dress. Come on, admit it. Even if you’re a hardcore stan for Selena Gomez, you know, YOU KNOW that on night for Rei Kawakubo, this was pretty weak. And I can see that she tried to make up for it in the makeup but eye shadow can’t save a dress. Can kissing save a dress?

This was Selena and Abel’s first official red carpet. They kissed. They nuzzled. And supposedly she was seen whispering “I love you” into his ear. Which, in combination with the fact that in some of their poses, she has her eyes closed, like overcome with bliss, is a level of sickly cheese that I can’t work with.

But of course there was an audience – the photographers, the media, us, and… Bella Hadid.

Bella may not have been on the carpet at the same time as Selena and Abel, but she knows, she knows how they were behaving. She would have heard, right away, about the performance that Selena and Abel were giving. That’s why her answer to that performance was predetermined: her outfit. Alexander Wang. A bodysuit. It’s body-con and hyper-sexual, not so Comme Des Garcons. There is a slight waft of Kawakubo here though. A bodysuit at a gala is definitely not prescribed. That’s where Wang is pushing against tradition. Also, you see how the legs blend into her feet and the material almost becomes the shoe? It’s a little creepy right? And definitely more CDG than Selena. So. Selena gets the guy and Bella wins on style. Draw?