The Sunday Times reported a few days ago (via Vanity Fair) that Prince Andrew, less than a year after he announced that he was stepping down from royal duties, not over his friendship with the dead rapist pedophile Jeffrey Epstein but because they were mortified by his shambolic performance during his interview with BBC Newsnight. To repeat the point: people weren’t mad that he used to allegedly creep around with a pervert, people are pissed at how embarrassing he was on camera. Which, I guess, he thinks has worn off – if it’s true that he’s exploring options for his return. 


Other palace sources are pumping the brakes in The Times, however, insisting that there are currently no plans for Andrew’s return so it’s interesting that we have conflicting source perspectives here and where they’re coming from. Buckingham Palace seems to be discounting this possibility while a “source close to Andrew” is what got this going the first place. So what is he telling his friends? And is he getting his friends to float this sh-t out there as an experiment, like to take people’s temperature? 

If that’s the case, it’s … funny. 

Because I think the temperature is obvious. Especially when Ghislaine Maxwell just made news recently. And he’s out here wondering if the temperature might be turning in his favour?! F-ck no is the answer. 


But here’s another bit coming out of The Times story via Vanity Fair that made me laugh: 

“One source who spoke to The Times saw his potential hopes for a “rebranding” as a sign that his thinking about the future has actually changed, and that he was no longer hoping for a return to his previous role. “There’s finally an acknowledgment that wasn’t there before,” the source said. A senior palace aide told The Telegraph that by agreeing not to appear in Beatrice’s official wedding photos and the Remembrance Sunday ceremony next month, he was displaying a “level of maturity.”

A “level of maturity”! 


We are talking here about a 60-year-old man who is about to become a grandfather and who was once the British trade envoy, representing English trade interests around the world! And describing his “maturity” like he’s the same age as Prince George, LOLOLOLOL. But this, about the man who also, up to last year, was a representative of the monarchy, and fancied himself some sort of entrepreneurial matchmaker with his Pitch@Palace initiative. 

Are we seriously just now giving him cookies for the “level of maturity” that he’s developed in the last ten months?! 

Is this how we are talking about this grown ass adult on the cusp of senior citizenship?

Well, I guess, yes. Because his mother infantalised him? Because he’s been enabled? Because Buckingham Palace courtiers have not done their f-cking job and held him accountable?! 

When exactly then can we expect Andrew to be a fully realised proper grownup?!