Chills Chills Chills You’re allowed to drive for Christmas With a chaperone. At least that looks like a chaperone. With Katie Holmes. Yesterday leaving the gym. The photo agencies are calling her companion a “friend”, but you know, where Xenu is concerned, only “approved” friends are allowed. So this friend must be Church-friendly, and can you really call that By Lainey • Dec 24, 2010 03:27 am
Baby and Bump Obsession They chose, or Xenu chose? Curious timing... Yesterday I wrote about Nicole Kidman, wondering, even though it’s none of my goddamn business, as to the whereabouts of her first two children Isabella and Connor. Click here for a refresher. Judging from my inbox, it was easily yesterday’s most popular post. Seems like for By Lainey • Dec 22, 2010 02:37 am
Break Ups Emmy Breakup Thinnification Kelly Osbourne ditched her boyfriend Luke Worrell about six weeks after she supposedly caught him cheating. She arrived at the Emmys with a very small waist in a very tight dress – looked lovely, sure, but that’s a lot of littleness that seems to have happened over a short period By Lainey • Aug 30, 2010 06:24 am
Xenu Smut A Big NOT Sci party Here’s what’s weird: Every night I scan the photo agencies so I can get a sense of what I might write about the next day. These photos were up right before I went to bed – Will Smith with Jada and Tom Cruise and several other celebrities and the By Lainey • Jul 13, 2010 04:31 am
Girly Throw Downs Tom Cruise: his bff is laughing too He’s been a pop culture punch line for years now thanks to his fontrum-y love for Katie Holmes and Oprah’s couch and Matt Lauer’s glibness and, well, somewhere along the way, Tom Cruise just became painfully uncool. So we laugh at him. But did you expect Xenu By Lainey • May 10, 2010 03:07 am
Parent Pimps Indistinguishable I’m telling you, Tom Cruise Jr really IS Tom Cruise Jr. In so many ways. This is Taylor Lautner leaving LAX today. Side by side, see for yourself. Right? And the security detail too. It’s the same! Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise Jr. They same body type, the By Lainey • Mar 19, 2010 10:21 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Xenu fertility For the rest of the world, most of the time, babies are conceived when two people get together and have sex. On occasion, when that isn’t successful, science is involved. These procedures however do not include purging aliens from our reproductive tracts. Unless of course you’re a member By Lainey • Mar 01, 2010 05:13 am
Chills Chills Chills Xenu for Haiti Tom Cruise and John Travolta were unable to participate in George Clooney’s Hope For Haiti Now telethon because they were committed to another event - the Living Legends of Aviation. Apparently Tom was receiving a prize for flying his bigboy plane. After the ceremony, both Cruise and Travolta with By Lainey • Jan 25, 2010 08:58 am
Chills Chills Chills Tom & Robo: 3 year rocky start It’s their anniversary today and to celebrate the occasion both Us Weekly and Star Magazine feature the couple on their covers, both publications taking it balls to the wall with suggestions that theirs is a contract marriage fraught with drama. Us reports that there are four more years left By Lainey • Nov 18, 2009 07:04 am
Chills Chills Chills JLo, Will …& Xenu THIS IS IT premiered last night in LA – Jennifer Lopez and Will Smith were the top two names on the carpet, both with ties to Tom Cruise and, yes, both with ties to the Xenu. It’s been a terrible week for the Xenu. Paul Haggis left him, France convicted By Lainey • Oct 28, 2009 03:18 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Robo Disconnected That word explains everything. Per the Paul Haggis revelations mentioned in today’s open, “disconnect” is a Scientology policy that refers to the action taken against those who do not share the Xenu love. Haggis’s wife was ordered to “disconnect” from her family when they broke from the Church. By Lainey • Oct 26, 2009 10:53 am
Hollywood Closet Don’t be a stuck squirrel! Please. This is the party I would have really wanted to be at. Us Weekly is reporting that on October 16th, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were in London attending a Scientology event with thousands of other Xenu lovers to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. By Lainey • Oct 21, 2009 04:20 am
Assy Style Robosheer Katie Holmes showed up a the Annual Women in Hollywood event last night too, dressed rather conservatively in a black blouse and mom length skirt until she stood under the right light and exposed her bra…and it still wasn’t all that exciting. KatE did stop on the carpet By Lainey • Oct 20, 2009 03:17 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Xenu still rules I called it an eyebrow archer the other day. And indeed, The Daily Mail once again sucks sh-t, instilling us first with false hope, and then replacing it with disappointment. The other day, the paper reported that Katie Holmes and Jesus had triumphed over Xenu and Tom Cruise and that By Lainey • Oct 15, 2009 02:58 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Jesus > Xenu Tom Cruise's 2 oldest are currently being educated in the ways of the Xenu. It was expected then that his youngest, future leader of the Free Thetans, would be similarly indoctrinated even though Katie Holmes was raised Catholic. After all, they were married according to Scientological scripture. Surprisingly By Lainey • Oct 12, 2009 03:08 am
Chills Chills Chills GMD & Robo begin work in Australia Katie Holmes will spend the summer shooting Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark in Australia. She arrived with Tom and Little Sci today in Melbourne, were spotted at the private airfield and taken to Crown Casino to meet up with Tom’s longtime friend Jamie Packer. Jamie Packer is By Lainey • Jul 01, 2009 03:44 am
