Dumbass Rough night, Porners? Porny Jessica Simpson took her freeloader out for dinner last night. They went to Katsuya. Too much sake? He had to hold on to her to make sure she didn’t bail on those heels. But that is a crazy weave, non? And it’s actually not that bad either, By Lainey • Jan 25, 2011 04:00 am
Dumbass Dumb Words My Porny, ONCE AGAIN, took to Twitter to express gratitude that Eric Johnson has agreed to live off her fortune. The other day, Jacek called me Toronto from Vancouver to get me to call our regular sushi place to order him takeout. It's because I talk to the By Lainey • Jan 24, 2011 04:55 am
Famewhores Paps on payroll Why can’t this girl keep her sh-t tight? They all use the paps – though she does it most egregiously – but most of them are able to lock down the leaks. Lindsay Lohan can’t keep her f-ckery a secret. EVER. Maybe it’s time to admit she sucks at By Lainey • Jan 21, 2011 07:13 am
Dumbass From the book of Jesse James Only the Brange can get away with this kind of PDA. And even if we disagree on everything, I think we can all agree that Kelsey Grammer is not Brad Pitt. But here he is the other day in New York, strolling down the street like it’s a photo By Lainey • Jan 21, 2011 04:34 am
Famewhores Lilo + Oscar She talks about this a lot. Once she said that one of her life goals was to win an Oscar before the age of 30. I still laugh about that one. This is a classic Lohan delusion. Daydreaming about something so out of reach, like it’s actually a possibility, By Lainey • Jan 20, 2011 03:54 am
Douchebags Douche in a Rolls Well if this isn’t a douche alert… Check out Ryan Phillippe, in track pants and a nipple-hugging white t-shirt, after lunch yesterday in LA cruising around in a ROLLS ROYCE. Really??? A Rolls Royce? Like, who ARE you? And why is Amanda Seyfried so stupid? How do you get By Lainey • Jan 20, 2011 03:12 am
Assy Style Best Cutaways: Lea Michele Written by Duana Lea Michele is, in a manner of speaking, what I want for Christmas 2011. Soft spot? For the overdramatic emoting singer who’s 24 going on 17? Me? What do you mean? Okay, first things first. I do kind of love her. That is, I love that By Lainey • Jan 17, 2011 04:31 am
Coincidence or conspiracy Worst poster, worst title, worst trailer In September I posted this about Kate Hudson’s new movie A Little Bit of Heaven. Dumbass title came with a dumbass poster. Look at Gael Garcia Bernal’s nose. Why is her mouth open? Who responds to this sh-t? WHY does she keep making the same movies over and By Lainey • Jan 13, 2011 08:25 am
Dumbass The graveyard shift Written by Sarah January and February are traditionally where movies are sent to die. Reading the studios’ slates for January and February is like reading the obit section. “Atlas Entertainment is sad to announce that ‘Season of the Witch’ has died. A memorial will be held among the remains of By Lainey • Jan 12, 2011 06:34 am
Dumbass A man has needs This is the best thing that’s happened to me today. When I woke up, grumpy as f-ck, and bloated, reading about it made me happy. Picturing it, and then picturing the conversation after it, was even better. That might be a little perverted. As you know, T.I. is By Lainey • Jan 06, 2011 07:03 am
Assy Style New Year toe, ring Christina Aguilera has apparently been waving around a new ring. You know, I don’t get ring porn. Or bauble porn of any kind. I guess I’m dumb because of the value discrepancy but a good bag excites me so much more than a diamond. And, frankly, I find By Lainey • Jan 04, 2011 09:03 am
Famewhores Worst of 2010: LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian So they’re engaged now. After a year of constant arrogant bullsh-t, and a Shape Magazine cover controversy – click here for a refresher - and a previous engagement that they denied because they wanted to maximise their exposure, and now a year-ending “official” engagement when all the real stars are By Lainey • Dec 29, 2010 03:52 am
Assy Style A Very Porny Christmas My Porny Jessica Simpson just celebrated her first Christmas with golddigger Eric Johnson. According to her Twitter, they were at her parents’, and she called him the “perfect” addition. Because, even though she runs an almost billion dollar business, she’ll always be the second class citizen in a relationship. By Lainey • Dec 29, 2010 02:45 am
Assy Style She’s not allowed to have friends I’ve been meaning to gather the Best Twi-Hard Hatemail of 2010 for a year-end post but last night my laptop decided to be a bitch and die after I plugged it into the tv. The motherf-cker isn’t even 6 months old. Jacek has been trying to recover my By Lainey • Dec 28, 2010 05:26 am
Break Ups Skinny doesn’t cure stupid Kelly Osbourne has spent the last several months telling us how much happier she is now that she’s skinny. Well now there’s a great message. Unfortunately, thinness in this case, and in most cases, doesn’t necessarily lead to enlightenment. And slender Kelly seems to be as stupid By Lainey • Dec 28, 2010 03:15 am
Famewhores Jersey Shore > Ashley Greene Best story of the day so far. Who are the two most hard up attention-whore members of the Twilight cast? Definitely Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene. It’s like they’re trying to Out-Try each other every day. Kellan poses in a tree with a book. Ashley will throw it By Lainey • Dec 23, 2010 04:26 am
