Parent Pimps Indistinguishable I’m telling you, Tom Cruise Jr really IS Tom Cruise Jr. In so many ways. This is Taylor Lautner leaving LAX today. Side by side, see for yourself. Right? And the security detail too. It’s the same! Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise Jr. They same body type, the By Lainey • Mar 19, 2010 10:21 am
Parent Pimps Side-Lean is a Pose-Hard Taylor Lautner showed up to the premiere of The Runaways last night to support Kristen Stewart. The side-lean, while still present, was not as out of control the way it was at the Oscars. That sh-t was crazy at the Oscars, non? But even though he seems to have reined By Lainey • Mar 12, 2010 03:06 am
Parent Pimps Oscar Entitlement: Miley Cyrus It’s the lack of humility that we’ve addressed so many times before. And on grand occasions like this it’s even more pronounced. They’ve raised her with such an alarming sense of entitlement. And of course, in this town, that sense of entitlement is oftentimes unearned. In By Lainey • Mar 08, 2010 05:27 am
Parent Pimps Tom Cruise Junior at the Oscars Taylor Lautner will present at the Oscars. He’ll pose on the carpet with the side lean, he’ll enunciate every syllable, he’ll bring his earnestness to the Kodak, follow every play in the Impress the MiniVan Guidebook... and he won’t have much of a normal teenage life. By Lainey • Feb 24, 2010 04:59 am
Parent Pimps Is she still a minor? Ali Lohan is 16 years old. Believe it. She was in London the other night with her older sister Lindsay and was photographed out on the town looking like this. THIS. 16 is still underage right? So, like, she should be supervised by an adult? And Lindsay Lohan, in and By Lainey • Feb 18, 2010 05:31 am
Parent Pimps Teen Tom Cruise Taylor Lautner turns 18 next week. Last night he was sitting courtside at the Lakers game. Seems like a normal famous teen Wednesday night activity, right? Sure, totally normal. Except he was with adults. Surrounded by adults. A 17 year old who never seems to have any friends his own By Lainey • Feb 04, 2010 01:36 am
Quiveration Best Grammy quiver Thank you for your emails in support of my quiveration for Eminem validating me against Duana’s disgust. He was HOT last night. And even Michelle admitted his face didn’t look so f-cked up. Check the way he’s wearing his pants. Please. With Drake and Wayne, Em delivered. By Lainey • Feb 01, 2010 04:28 am
Hook Ups New year, new crack love Or she’s trying to make Samantha Ronson jealous. Paps caught Lindsay Lohan out last night with a new beau. His name is Aurelien Wiik. He’s a French actor. To me he’s an Adam Brody clone. French Adam Brody and Lilo were kissing. At a private party inside By Lainey • Jan 19, 2010 07:15 am
Parent Pimps Cyrus Gangsta Crunk Not depressed enough this week? How about watching a video of 10 year old Noie or Noah whatever Cyrus, JailBait v 2.0, miming Ke$ha’sTik Tok ... and somehow this found its way onto YouTube. Don’t bother asking what the f-ck her folks are up to. It’s By Lainey • Jan 14, 2010 06:48 am
Parent Pimps Drama always wins Lindsay Lohan. She can’t follow up a win with a win. And you’d think that, especially with so few wins in her life these days, she’d at least want to savour a rare one. Oh no. This is the Lilo. And the drama always overrides everything. Friday By Lainey • Jan 11, 2010 02:48 am
Parent Pimps She’s totally not having sex What? Disney JailBait? Of course not. She’s totally still a virgin. A virgin who travels on her own to spend time with her boyfriend in Australia. A virgin who has travelled back with him to LA. A virgin who was rolling around on the beach with him the other By Lainey • Jan 08, 2010 03:01 am
Parent Pimps Lohan Mayhem 2010 Lindsay Lohan promised on her Twitter at New Year’s that 2010 would be all about the Lohan Mayhem. In a “positive” way. Please. Is that possible? Lilo is currently with Ali in St Barts. The mother is nowhere to be found. They’ve been walking around in their bikinis, By Lainey • Jan 05, 2010 04:22 am
Parent Pimps Garters in the winter Oh look, it’s Taylor Momsen walking around New York trying to give you a glimpse of her snatch. You like the garters? She thinks she’s so punk as f-ck, non? Taylor was heading to set on Gossip Girl. I was agonising with my friend LB this weekend about By Lainey • Dec 14, 2009 08:59 am
Hook Ups More on Porny & Pumpkin Just a small detail for the 2 of you who still don’t believe it… Thanks to a reader called RF who had the (mis)fortune of sitting one seat over from Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan last Friday night during the performance of Chicago in New York and observed By Lainey • Dec 10, 2009 05:16 am
Parent Pimps Children Children wake up, hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust. Songs just pop in your head suddenly. This is what popped when I saw these photos today of Sisters JailBait Miley and Noah Cyrus going through Miami airport. Miley is 17, Noah is 9. And they By Lainey • Dec 04, 2009 03:45 am
Parent Pimps Please look like this all the time This is what Noah Cyrus, 9 year old sister of Miley, looks like when they don’t skank her all up like a pageant girl. Totally normal, ordinary, even cute, right? Except of course for the naked fameloving all over her face. Nothing can mask that. Noah was hanging out By Lainey • Dec 03, 2009 03:19 am
