Katie Holmes Robobride Trumps Granny Freeze New interview with Katie Holmes, Queen Latifah, and Diane Keaton in Parade Magazine and KatE delivers a clinic in MiniVan Majority Fellatio. There’s love, there’s baking, there’s chocolate, there’s children, there’s sisterhood, and of course there is LOVE. All in time for the holidays. Now By Lainey • Dec 20, 2007 01:30 am
Tom Cruise Why Xenu Loves Will Will Smith once said that he owns the 4th of July, referring to his impressive Independence Day box office record, not only with the title film’s impressive performance but with most of his summer blockbusters, regardless of how well or how poorly they’re reviewed. Suffice to say after By Lainey • Dec 17, 2007 01:33 am
Katie Holmes More RoboBride Rossum Click here if you missed Katie Holmes raping you with sugar in the pages of January Elle. Now even more Rossum has been released as further proof she is fellating the MiniVan Majority. First an addition to a previous quote about how Tom is the perfect partner and then on By Lainey • Dec 14, 2007 02:05 am
Katie Holmes Raped by KatE’s Sugar Major sugar raping, as Keira Knightley would say. Mrs Cruise on the cover of the January issue of In Style. And she looks great. Don’t like the hair style but do like how the hair’s been styled…make sense? Not overly coiffed, looks like it moves, it’s By Lainey • Dec 13, 2007 01:52 am
Tom Cruise Down Boy! It’s one thing to show up with his big ass teeth and shoelifts to support his gaycrush in LA…it’s another to follow him across the country to walk the red carpet. But the Tom Cruise’s loins were afire and sometimes the quiver is too compelling. After By Lainey • Dec 12, 2007 02:10 am
Tom Cruise The Coat Off His Back Ben Affleck gave away a few of Violet’s coats last week on Good Morning America for a winter charity drive and today, Will Smith did the same. And as you can see, it’s a gorgeous coat. And it looked gorgeous on him. Damn Will is fine. Not hard By Lainey • Dec 11, 2007 08:11 am
Tom Cruise The GMD steps in for Jada For some reason, Jada was missing yesterday for Will Smith’s handprint ceremony at Grauman’s so Tom Cruise stepped in and played the part of doting partner, seated on the sidelines in admiration, practically drooling over a man he keeps calling his “inspiration”. Sweet Xenu, it’s like porn By Lainey • Dec 11, 2007 02:29 am
Katie Holmes Little Sci goes to the Grove This is the problem with Katie’s new bob: when it’s not “done”, it’s totally Sally Field circa Steel Magnolias and before that Burt Reynolds. In other words – a helmet pushing a shopping cart…just sayin’. Here are mom and Little Sci shopping at The Grove the other By Lainey • Dec 10, 2007 02:23 am
Katie Holmes Can’t Keep the Gay Away No amount of Xenu Juice could have prevented Tom Cruise from attending the Spice Girls concert in LA on Wednesday night. How could any gay resist the glitter? On top of that, how can Tom resist a photo opportunity? With thousands of fans and their camera phones and the world By Lainey • Dec 07, 2007 02:35 am
Katie Holmes A RoboBride Holiday Janice Min’s clever staff at Us Weekly somehow got their hot little hands on the Tom’s family holiday card. His wife designed it herself and as you can see, she is sending her regards under KatE with an “E”…not Katie. Call me Cruise but it’s a By Lainey • Dec 06, 2007 02:19 am
Katie Holmes Little Sci in London Everyone loves Little Sci. Which is why her daddy keeps trotting her out for public consumption – can you hear the MiniVan oohing and goo-ing? This is the Family Cruise today in London out for a walk in Hyde Park. Mom, dad, baby... it’s like a Sears Family Portrait, only By Lainey • Dec 05, 2007 01:57 am
Tom Cruise The Power of the GMD It is a dark day. The Daily Mail is reporting that Andrew Morton’s Tom Cruise exposé will not be published in the UK because it’s too… boring! What??? Boring??? He went underground for two years writing this book. I heard he had to cut off cell phone access, By Lainey • Nov 28, 2007 02:30 am
Tom Cruise He Sleeps Naked My quivering loins… of course he sleeps naked. Becks is in Australia right now with the LA Galaxy and he appeared on local morning tv for an interview during which he was asked if he preferred “pyjamas or no pyjamas”. He replied – no pyjamas. Yum! This man is too fine By Lainey • Nov 26, 2007 03:31 am
Britney Spears More Real than the Real Thing Alison Jackson is a pop culture photographer with a new book called Confidential featuring a collection of her celebrity photos. Faux photos. But some are so incredibly real you really wouldn’t know the difference. Even more, they are not only “real” aesthetically, they also capture the spirit of the By Lainey • Nov 23, 2007 06:21 am
Tom Cruise Another Disciple See? Friendship with Tom Cruise never comes without a cost. And now what we’ve feared is actually happening. Will Smith… Will Smith loves Xenu. Will Smith loves Xenu so much he’s talking about him and defending him. While he promotes his new movie I Am Legend, Will Smith By Lainey • Nov 19, 2007 07:00 pm
Ben Stiller Xenu Hates Bloat Tom Cruise is currently working on a cameo for Ben Stiller’s new movie Tropic Thunder. Ben of course is balls deep in bed with Tom Cruise, also committing to United Artists and Tom to star in the Hardy Men Movie with shooting scheduled to begin next year. Obviously willing By Lainey • Nov 18, 2007 07:00 pm
