The bait and switch of Taylor Swift’s new album, The Tortured Poets Department, is that everyone thought it would be a Joe Alwyn breakup album but it ended up being a Matty Healey breakup album, revealing that when she and Matty were together last year, it was much more serious that the public and even her fans initially thought. And that she was much more torn up about their breakup than she let on. 


Fast Flames Flame Out Fast™ is what I’ve always said and there are two parts to it – the brevity of the relationship but also the heat. We can assume now that that heat was waiting to be ignited for over a decade, since she was seen wearing a 1975 band tee back in 2014. And when it was finally lit, as she’s telling us now, the power of it was all consuming until he was the one to put it out. 

But the word “flame” comes up in a different way too. “Twin flame” to be more precise. “Twin flame” is in the lyrics for what is arguably her most famous song, “All Too Well” (10 Minute Version): 

“And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?”

Most of us know all too well that that’s a question for Jake Gyllenhaal. But now it would seem, Taylor has given Jake a twin in Matty Healy. Because “twin” is also how she refers to him, presumably, on the song “Down Bad” when she repeats, several times, “I lost my twin”. 


These are her two “twin flame” heartbreaks, Jake and Matty. And they’ve now become twin-immortalised in her music, the men who made promises and then ran away. The men who claimed to be constant and then bailed when it got hard. But also used her for her light. In “All Too Well”, she’s…

“A never needy, ever-lovely jewel whose light reflects on you”

…and in “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” he…

“In public showed me off

Then sank in stoned oblivion

‘Cause one your queen had come

You treat her like an also-ran” 


Typical f-ckboy sh-t, it’s her Achilles. Matty Healy is Jake Gyllenhaal’s sequel. 

Speaking of Matty though, the paps caught up with him in LA this week and asked him straight up about Taylor. His response: 


This is perfect, no notes. And it works for both of them, both himself and Taylor. Matty is the living embodiment of living inside someone’s head rent free and thus, with this performance, his answer, “so casually cruel in the name of being honest”, confirms what Taylor is saying about him in her songs, the kind of guy who can one minute tell you he can’t live without you and the next minute he’s a ghost. 

So that’s what’s behind the office door where the Tortured Poets read and write and play the part of the hopeless romantic but in real life actually specialise in torturing the hearts that they’ve stolen and deceived: Jake Gyllenhaal and now Matty Healy. Please, can we Gossip Genie this friendship? Tell me your head wouldn’t explode if Jake G stepped out in a 1975 band tee. 

Taylor, meanwhile, claims to have had enough of those office hours and has now done a rom-com reversal. The classic rom-com trope is that the sporty boys are the f-ckboys and the arty boys are sweeties. Right now she’s playing on the other end with an athlete. She and Travis Kelce apparently were on a minibreak with Gigi Hadid and Bradley Cooper in Carmel-by-the-Sea, according to Donna Kelce. Not the mom spilling the tea! 

This is what happens. You do your best to keep your sh-t locked down and then your ma goes out into the world and puts you on blast. 

Let's Squawk about Taylor's twins today. (app link here)