We’ve been behind on the Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau situation since I’ve been away the last few days but also kinda timely because… well… first, let’s recap. 

 

JT joined Katy on tour in Japan, they were seen holding hands after dinner. That was just the beginning of what would become an official hard launch sequence of events. Shortly afterwards, the former Prime Minister of Japan, Fumio Kishida, posted a photo of him and his wife, Yuko, with Justin and Katy after they all met for lunch together, referring to Katy as JT’s “partner”. 

 

Important to note that it was Mr Kishida who shared the image first, and given the status of both former politicians, there is no doubt that this would have been negotiated ahead of time – as the host in his home country, the honour of making this public would have belonged to the local dignitary. Which, in this case, definitely benefited Justin more. Because then he could jump in on the original post with his official response, out of good manners and not simply, you know, thirst…even though he probably couldn’t wait with itchy fingers to hit “reply”.   

 

As for Katy, I mean, you can’t do better for a hard launch on the official Twitter account of the former PM of Japan alongside the former PM of Canada, come ON. That’s the best “all clear” for her to post about JT on her own socials for the first time, but in the second and fourth slides of her carousel. 

Wait, hold on… her first time trying uni? 

Uni is sea urchin, my f-cking favourite. There is nothing like the richness of uni umami. I can’t believe someone who’s cosplayed being Japanese as much as Katy Perry has is only tasting it for the first time in 2025. On that note, let me just share the best text in the group chat courtesy my friend LB. I laughed for an hour when she sent this: 

“Will it be saris or kimonos at the Trudeau/Perry wedding?”

LOL FOREVER!

 

If you don’t understand this reference, please refer to this article or enjoy the photo I will repost as often as I can. 

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and family visit Amritsar, India , February 21, 2018 

As I have said, this is a corn and cheese and cringe couple for the ages. They remind me, in a way, of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck in how much we can enjoy it (while it lasted in Bennifer’s case) and not have to regret it. JT and Katy are guilt-free gossip. They are good for gossip. They f-cking love the gossip, let’s not pretend they’re not living for the headlines. 

But to go back to the title of this post, and the Olympic dream, there’s actually another couple they’re being compared to, and it’s an incredible example of gossip precognition. Credit first to a Twitter account @AnnieWunnie for this excellent tweet in 2018 during the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics: 

 

Now that Katy and JT are officially official, Canadian ice dance champions, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the most decorated figure skaters in Olympic history. Tessa and Scott are such magnificent athletes and also compelling entertainers that their epic Moulin Rouge free dance at the 2018 Games was so convincing, everyone jumped on the bandwagon to ship them as a couple off the ice. Up to that point, the fan theories were mostly just contained to figure skating forums but it was after Pyeongchang that the shipping really went mainstream. And in some corners of this particular fandom, it was as unhinged as we’ve seen with idols and actors. Conspiracy theories, toxic behaviour, Robsten-level batsh-tness. 

Tessa and Scott, now, are married to other people and have children. But the fantasy of being in love IRL lives on… in the form of Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau, hahahaha I am cryinggggg. 

 

OK but since we’re doing this, can we just revisit that performance? Maybe you’ve forgotten, or maybe like Bastien Fachan you were unaware of it until Katy and Justin became the first couple of pop culture, at least this week. Moulin Rouge 2018, though, is a f-cking legend, an eternal ice queen. Every gesture, the way they maintained eye contact, how they choreographed the routine to the high points in the music…

Tessa soaring through the air as Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor sang “come what may”, her head thrown back and her hands extended in desperation, both of them breathless, not by physical exertion but by the intensity of the romance they were dramatising…

It’s understandable the fervor they inspired, why the audience had to believe what they were watching wasn’t just the standard of sporting excellence but a true love story for the ages. But that’s the power of ice dance and it’s why Tessa and Scott are icons in their discipline, revived in this moment by Canada’s most famous politician and his popstar girlfriend. 

 

Photo credits: Raminder Pal Singh/ EPA-EFE/ Shutterstock, Dutch Press Photo/ Cover Images/ Instar Images

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