Kensington Palace released the photo that’s featured on the Cambridges’ Christmas Card today and look at Big G in his big boy pants! Royal boys, as you know, are supposed to wear shorts until, I dunno, some prescribed age like… 7? 8? 10? That’s why little Louis Trey is in shorts, with tights. Big G is 5 years old so maybe it’s a little early, according to the fusty ass English people. They’re breaking the rules! Is there an old timey pearl-clutcher who’s going to come out of their crypt to complain about it in the Daily Mail, about the fall of British elegance and decorum? No. Because it’s only women’s attire that brings down society, didn’t you know? If Charlotte had been in pants, that would have been an international crisis. 

While everyone else continues to focus on the humans in this family portrait, my concern is the dog. A dog is part of the family. So WHERE IS LUPO?!? 

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Lupo included in any official portraits. Lupo showed up back in May 2017 when Prince William covered British GQ and he, Kate, Big G, and Charlotte were photographed in the garden with Lupo running around behind them. 


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This new portrait, for the 2018 Christmas card, was taken at Anmer Hall. They’re outside! Perfect opportunity to include Lupo. Or maybe that’s the problem. Maybe Lupo was like, f-ck you, I’m outside, I need to run through these piles of leaves and jump over the logs, I’m not posing for a photo shoot with you people, peace out. Is that why Lupo’s never around? Or is this a case of forgetting about the dog when the kids come along?