Today in Surely An AI Spat This Out At Random news, Tom Brady’s first post-retirement gig is starring in a comedy movie with Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Rita Moreno, and Sally Field. I have TRIPLE CHECKED that sentence and it is 100% true and not at all the work of a deranged robot. The movie is called 80 for Brady and it’s inspired by real-life events in which four friends embark on a road trip to see the Patriots play in the 2017 Super Bowl. Fonda, Tomlin, Moreno, and Field will play the friends, and I suppose Brady is playing himself. I QUADRUPLE CHECKED and this is all a real thing that is happening. 


Brady is also producing the movie, through his production shingle 199 Productions. So, he’s going the Peyton Manning route and making a play for Hollywood now that he’s quit the field. Good luck to him, he doesn’t have half the charm of Manning, and it’s not like Peyton Manning is a super charming dude to begin with. But Manning at least scans as “believably human with actual blood in his veins” and not “possible cyborg who functions solely on the furious will to crush his opponents”. Tom Brady may be the GOAT when it comes to football, but can you really buy into Tom Brady: Movie Star? He’s smart to surround himself with a quartet of stone cold LEGENDS, but also, ??????

Again, I have QUINTUPLE CHECKED and Tom Brady IS making a movie with Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Rita Moreno, and Sally Field. This. Is. HAPPENING. If you didn’t believe we live in a simulation before, is this enough evidence for you? Reality is a construct, clearly.