It’s not like it was a surprise – at the midway point of the Olympics, TMZ had already broken the news that Tom Cruise was planning some kind of stunt for the Closing Ceremony and pretty much described what was about to happen. They hedged a bet about whether or not the live portion of his appearance would actually happen with him or with a stunt double but, like, please. This is Tom Cruise, there is no f-cking way he would ever let a stunt person carry out the mission. And the mission was this: to deliver the Olympic flag from Paris to Los Angeles as only he could. 

 

So we knew it was coming…and it was amazingly hilarious anyway. I started screaming the moment he turned to camera. At about the 15 second mark of the video below, you’ll see him turn his head to the side, pause, wait for the camera to rise over him, at which point he finally makes eye contact, dramatically, establishing that yes, indeed, it really is him, before falling into the stadium. The intention here, obviously, was to make it cinematic…and that’s what made it so funny, because they were doing it live, and it didn’t quite work out as well as if it was a movie, because they couldn’t really light it properly on the roof of the Stade de France and I’m not sure they had much opportunity to rehearse it as many times as they would have had it been a film. For example, they cut away too late to H.E.R. when he landed so that you could see him reach down to unstrap himself from all his flying accessories, and it went over a bit clumsy. Ideally that would have been a cleaner transition – he lands like a boss, then over to H.E.R. and when we go back to him he’s already rushing down the runway, cheered on by the athletes. 

 

But, then again, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. 

Because then it wouldn’t have been so corny! And ridiculous! And comedic! And, one more time, corny! SO corny! It got even funnier seeing how thrilled the athletes were to see him. High off their Olympic experience, they were already buzzing, and then a Hollywood superstar lands in their midst, and he too seems overwhelmed and moved by their response to him. I was crying laughing when that one girl grabbed him for a kiss. 

 

But then came the pure cheese of him getting on his bike and the weird tone change when he’s then shown (likely via pre-tape) riding through the streets of Paris and onto an awaiting military plane. Like I said, the whole thing was so awkward and bizarre but also utterly on brand that, for me, it was almost comforting. Of course Tom Cruise is going to show up and do the most. Even his final pose was TOO MUCH – that shot of him at the Hollywood sign, the wind in his hair, with one harm holding onto the bar… that was what sent me over the edge into oblivion. It’s really, um, not his best angle but it’s so goddamn earnest, it’s hard to be mad at it!

Tom Cruise at the Hollywood sign

 

 

Bilge Ebiri wrote a piece of Tom’s Olympic moment for Vulture describing the “peculiar joy” of seeing him there stunting, in the context of what stunts have meant to Tom’s career, particularly to the revival of his career. Ending on Tom’s closing pose standing at one of the most iconic signs on the planet Bilge concludes the article with this line: 

“The last true movie star was back home.”

“Back at home” is what’s notable here because, for more than a decade now, we haven’t really associated Tom with Hollywood, at least not geographically. He’s not actually there a whole lot, London is more home for him, if he does have a home – Tom doesn’t have much physical presence in Hollywood proper. And yet spiritually… well… it’s like he took this opportunity, with the Olympics, to establish that he’s the spiritual symbol of Hollywood and what it represents, or at least what it used to represent. 

 

For better or worse, despite Glen Powell’s best efforts, there probably won’t ever be another Tom Cruise in Hollywood. Unless Scientology figures out a way to keep him alive forever. 

By the way, Paramount is already using Tom’s Olympic mission to promote the next – with this lengthy post about his career and all the crazy sh-t he’s done on screen, in anticipation for the next movie. Doesn’t get more Hollywood than this. Which is why I think it was an intended leak last week to not keep his appearance at the Closing Ceremony a secret. 

 

They ensured that all photographers and social media would be on alert to help with the marketing.