I’m working on theory here, stay with me: Ben Affleck is the happiest man in Hollywood. And you know how I know that? He rarely looks happy at award shows. It’s like social media: the person who brags about being happy is miserable, the person who posts about being kind is usually a giant asshole, and the person who posts about “not wanting drama” is dramatic as f-ck.
Ben doesn’t perform happiness for us because he’s just happy. You know who performs happiness? Tom Cruise. Always smiling and jumping and enthusiastic. Who do you think is happier in their real life: Tom Cruise or Ben Affleck?
I’m not one to point out anyone’s photo errors or typos (WHO AM I TO TALK) but I kind of love that there’s a young person working the E! social media beat who thinks Steve Martin is Martin Scorsese. I wish they hadn’t deleted, it was kind of performance art.
Leonardo DiCaprio is wearing his hair longer than usual right now and it’s kind of giving hot? (Lainey is yelling at me right now lol.) Leo looks great with long hair and great with short hair (he was never hotter than in The Departed, that’s science) but he insists on wearing it mid-length. Alternatively, he looks the same as always but seems hotter because he is genuinely showing up for Lily Gladstone at every turn and while it’s what good coworkers do, not a lot of men in his position do it.
So I debated posting about this because it’s dark as f-ck but as someone who has worked in media for almost 20 years, f-cking yikes. This is giving me Heath Ledger flashbacks, back when it wasn’t just lower-tier tabloids that ran stories like this.
The Last of Heath, in Vanity Fair, was awful to Michelle Williams. More recently, Rolling Stone wrote a piece about Taylor Hawking that many people found offside (particularly as early reports about drugs found in his hotel room came out wrong and strong – there was nothing there). When someone dies as a result of drug use, there’s a kind of fake hand-wringing but also the implication that they aren’t entitled to privacy. I’m not saying celebrities need to be canonized after their death but if there is a great truth to be told, do you think US Weekly is telling it?
