Nu-Anaconda

I have been curious about the Anaconda reboot since it was announced last year. I don’t think all IP is created equal, and I’m not sure what the nostalgia really is for a movie known for being so bad the franchise eventually turned into Syfy Channel dreck. But yet here we are, with a new Anaconda in the year of our lady 2025, betting holiday box office on the reboot appeal of a famously bad snake movie.

The trailer for the new Anaconda dropped yesterday, and it doesn’t look completely horrible. This is entirely going to depend on the full film, though. Nu-Anaconda stars Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Steve Zahn, and Thandiwe Newton as friends who commit to the bit and go to the Amazon to shoot their own remake of Anaconda. Apparently, this is a life-long dream of theirs—here’s a whiff of that nostalgia that I don’t think actually exists for Anaconda. This is a very funny collection of people, though, and I don’t really want to bet against the combined appeal of Rudd and Black.

Nu-Anaconda also has an ace up its sleeve, which is that it comes from the writing duo of Kevin Etten and Tom Gormican, who previously made the meta Nicolas Cage movie, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Gormican also directed that film, and he’s directing Nu-Anaconda, so we’re bringing back the creative team from Massive Talent for this film. Massive Talent is an extremely high concept meta comedy that is actually very funny, and I get a vibe in this trailer that Anaconda might go in that direction, too. There’s a meta layer with the characters in the movie loving the original Anaconda so much they want to remake it, which is also a high concept for a reboot/remake. Maybe it will work out? Hard to tell from this trailer, which isn’t completely selling me but also isn’t completely turning me off. We’re just gonna have to watch the whole ass movie, sorry everyone! 

What is concerning about Nu-Anaconda is that it’s a Christmas release, which means it’s going up against Avatar: Fire & Ash (which I KEEP writing out as Avatar: Fire Nation). Obviously, that will be the biggest film of the holiday season. A lot of things are uncertain in Hollywood right now, and no one ever really knows anything about box office, but this is as close to a truism as Hollywood gets—do not bet against James Cameron. He will suffocate you under his piles of money. Both Avatars to date have made over $2 billion—the original in 2009 made damn near $3 billion. Fire Nation Fire & Ash will undoubtedly rake it in this year, too.

Nu-Anaconda, then, is a piece of counterprogramming, something for the…grown-ups? It’s not rated yet, but depending on how gory they get with the kills, I could easily see this being an R-rated film, and marketing it to people who don’t want to see Avatar (again). 

Of course, Paul Feig’s adaptation of The Housemaid, starring Amanda Seyfreid and her tethered, Sydney Sweeney, is also angling for the non-Avatar grown-up crowd at Christmas. There are already too many movies banking on being what people want to see that isn’t Avatar. It’s going to be a very busy holiday season.