Twitter is the town square of social media. It’s the piazza where everyone gathers to talk sh-t about current events at the end of the night. When the gossip is good, Twitter is good. Last night, with the news of Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox’s engagement, Twitter was great.
I don’t know who was handling its social media last night, but Vulture got in this tweet and I’m jealous.
From â€œI am weedâ€ to â€œI am wed.â€ https://t.co/EZhwb060iS— Vulture (@vulture) January 12, 2022
This tweet that sent me over the edge.
when the foot locker employee finds an extra pair of the sold out shoes for you in the back pic.twitter.com/8SUqpsLmRO— New Year Worse Me (@SortaBad) January 13, 2022
There’s a reason people are giddy over the news: these two are extra and right now, we need extra. They are two teenagers in love as adults, with all of the intensity that comes with it. They are in their 30s (and she has three children) but they are young and free. And at a time when many people feel tired, drab, bogged down, fed up and trapped (by the pandemic, a job, a circumstance), these two are entertaining us. Most important, they enjoy entertaining us. They know all eyes are on them and they perform for us, with tongues and nail art and matching tattoos.
Megan in particular, who spent the early part of her career underestimated and treated like a punchline, is now in control of the narrative. There’s been a complete turnaround on her public image and while she embraces it, she doesn’t seem desperate to be accepted. Like a cool teenager!
Beyond their matching outfits, it seems like they truly are obsessed with each other, which in turn makes us obsess over them. (For a look into that, revisit Molly Lambert’s profile on them in GQ.)
That’s why her caption about the banyan tree (and his accompanying song, which Lainey directed me to and I’ve listened to three times this morning) and the performative red carpets work and the caption about the “hell” they’ve been through don’t elicit an eyeroll— at the base, there is something real here. But just because it’s genuine and sacred (to them) doesn’t meant it can’t be fun for us. It’s both.
So let’s talk about the ring… I like it, even though I’m usually not a fan of teardrop-shaped diamonds. I love emeralds and two stones is growing on me. (Emily Ratajkowski also has a two-stone ring.) As MGK wrote on Instagram, “i know tradition is one ring, but i designed it with Stephen Webster to be two: the emerald (her birth stone) and the diamond (my birth stone) set on two magnetic bands of thorns that draw together as two halves of the same soul forming the obscure heart that is our love.” These two believe magic swirls around them so of course she’s not cutting the square diamond with a simple band. That’s not commemorating their unique and eternal love. Only two stones can do that.
And her caption matches his intensity: “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking for him to drink my blood.”
We still get a wedding out of this! Are they going to chain themselves together for the ceremony? I don’t know what their next level will be, but the only thing that would shock me is if she showed in a strapless Vera Wang gown and he wore a tux.
I hope Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly stick their tongues out at each other instead of kiss on the altar— Carey O'Donnell (@ecareyo) January 12, 2022