Prince Andrew played golf on Monday at Royal Portrush while on his visit to Northern Ireland. The course hosted the Open Championship back in July so it would probably still be in top condition, as in quite difficult. I haven’t been able to find out what he shot. Do you think we should be allowed to know, when dignitaries make official appearances at places like golf courses, what they shoot? Would Andrew want us to know what his handicap is? Probably not. Let me throw it back to my favourite Prince Andrew reference article from Vanity Fair in 2011, The Trouble With Andrew, and this description: 

Like many spoiled younger sons, Andrew often comes across as arrogant, self-indulgent, and thoughtless of other people’s feelings. A classmate from his days at Gordonstoun—the school that Philip, Charles, and Andrew all attended—reportedly described the adult Andrew as “a man with a fat bottom who laughs at his own jokes.” 

Would that guy want us to know his golf score if he’s not a scratch golfer? 

Anyway, we’re not here to talk at length about Prince Andrew’s golf game. We are here to talk about his connection to Jeffrey Epstein, the dead rapist pedophile with whom Andrew was friends. As you know, Andrew was pictured with his arm around one of Epstein’s victims, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, as Epstein’s alleged madam, Ghislaine Maxwell, looked on. Andrew and Buckingham Palace have vehemently denied that he was up to the same gross sh-t as Epstein and insist that he didn’t know about any of it. A couple of weeks ago Andrew released a poorly written letter that only added to the mess. But now he’s been sent a letter in return!

Virginia Giuffre’s attorneys have written to Andrew requesting to interview him. This letter is not poorly written. It’s actually pretty shady – and like Andrew’s letter, it’s been made public

Here is the full text of the letter in italics. My comments are in bold. 

HRH Prince Andrew:

We were pleased to see your recent statement that you were appalled by the predatory sexual behavior of your friend, Jeffrey Epstein. (Excellent opening. Patronising as f-ck. Like, no sh-t, dum-dum, you basically just came in with the bare minimum. Everyone should be appalled!) 

We have also read various claims by you that certain statements made by our client, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, are untrue. In the past, in light of similar denials, we requested an interview with you during which lawyers representing various victims of Mr. Epstein, including lawyers representing Ms. Giuffre, would ask you questions about your relationship with Mr. Epstein. This would, of course, allow you to fully respond in a dignified manner and appropriate setting that would, we believe, clarify the record for everyone’s benefit, including your own. (LOL more patronising: Don’t worry, your highness preciousness, we don’t want to interview you at a Motel 8 – no disrespect to Motel 8. There will be tea served in expensive cups, proper china. So as not to disrespect you while we ask you why you had your fat fingers around the waist of a then 17-year-old girl who claims she was forced into sex slavery by your friend, the rapist Jeffrey Epstein.) 

While your recent press statements indicate your sincere desire to help the victims of sexual abuse, we are concerned that certain statements attributed to you (which we hope do not reflect your actual views) are quite inconsistent with a desire to deal responsibly with the serious allegations that have been made. We now see, for instance, a troubling assertion attributed to you that a well-documented photograph depicting you, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, and Ghislaine Maxwell in each other’s company is a “fake.”

As you know, counsel in related litigation delivered correspondence to you years ago asking for an opportunity to discuss the circumstances surrounding this long-held photograph. We were puzzled and, we must admit, disappointed that you did not cooperate at that time. Nevertheless, given your new attention to the subject and your pledge to cooperate, we renew our request for your cooperation. (Thanks for writing your letter. Now that you’ve written it, you’ve opened the door for us once again to ask you about your RELATIONSHIP with Epstein and Maxwell and Virginia Giuffre. Not a lot of people can claim to have this RELATIONSHIP with these three individuals involved in this sordid situation. But curiously…you, the second son of Queen Elizabeth, are one of them. Hi there!) 

While it is true that certain public denials and assertions on your part concerning our client, Virginia Giuffre, are hurtful to her, we wish to assure you that we will proceed with the utmost respect as we explore your relationship with Mr. Epstein, Ms. Maxwell, and Ms. Giuffre. (Your denials, and the “source” leaks from your camp suggesting that the photo is a fake, are tantamount to an accusation that this woman is lying, that people shouldn’t believe her when she says she was raped. That’s not a good look on you but, don’t worry, we have manners, we’ll ask you in a nice way, in a nice setting fit for a royal who’s found himself linked to accused sex traffickers.) 

We are prepared to host a meeting with you in New York, or we will gladly come to London or to any other place you may designate. We do request, however, that we receive the courtesy of a reply to this letter and that our proposed meeting take place at your earliest convenience.

Very truly yours,


If it’s not “royal” to guest-edit magazines, how “royal” is it to be receiving legal letters requesting an interview from attorneys representing a rape victim of your dead friend?