Intro for April 15, 2025

Dear Gossips, 

They’ve been trying to remake The Bodyguard for over a decade. The Hollywood Reporter reported last Friday that Warner Bros has secured a director, Sam Wrench. We’ll come back to that in a minute. Jonathan Abrams, who wrote Juror #2, is writing the screenplay. This makes me a little nervous but I’m not sure that’s fair. Because Clint Eastwood directed that film and I’ve never seen a movie in such a hurry to end itself, it became a joke for us when we were watching. Clint works famously fast, but this was absurd. It was like every scene was in a rush to be over. We probably can’t put any of that on Jonathan, right? 

Anyway, back to Sam Wrench – he directed Taylor Swift’s The Eras Tour movie, and then Tyra Banks was on The Today Show with Jenna & Friends yesterday and suggested Taylor Swift to be cast as Rachel Marron, originally and iconically played by the one and only Whitney Houston. Frank Farmer, The Bodyguard, according to Tyra, should be Idris Elba. 

Hard pass. 

When I said earlier that this project has been in development for over a decade, I was not exaggerating. My last dream cast post about it was back in 2014 and it could use an update. Back then my two leads were Rihanna and Tom Hardy. I’m keeping Rihanna…

…but I’m swapping out Tom for, ugh, Jake Gyllenhaal. He may have been a dick to me before but he’s a great actor, he’d be excellent in this role.

Next to Rachel’s sister, Nicki, who may just be the most complicated and tragic character in the film. Nicki is torn between family love and loyalty and resentment. She’s had to confront the demise of her own dreams while watching the person closest to her realise hers. Nicki went down an unforgivable path… but somehow we still have empathy for her. So you need an actor who can dig deep on that level – Kerry Washington. 

Next – Sy, the skeezy agent. My original choice was Bradley Cooper and I’m still into it, but if he’s not available, Kieran Culkin for sure. 

Then there’s Devaney, Rachel’s sweet but overwhelmed manager. Back in 2014 I had Don Cheadle down for this and I’m not changing. 

As for the rookie driver who is the most receptive to Frank’s guidance at the beginning and becomes kinda like is prized student: Elliot Page. 

The panty-sniffing stalker – I’ll go with Barry Keoghan. 

And the sinister assassin who gives abusive husband vibes – Jacob Elordi. 

Finally, Big Tony, Rachel’s incompetent bodyguard who gets dragged facedown across the kitchen counter because he interrupts Frank eating an apple? Jason Momoa. Tony, to his credit, comes around on Frank and not just because he got the sh-t kicked out of him. 

“I don’t want to talk about this again.” 

 

Actually I do want to talk about it some more. Let’s do that on Substack? Join us at The Squawk! (App link here)

Yours in gossip, 

Lainey