Dakota Johnson, Director

I was mid on Materialists, but it had a moment over the summer, instigating conversations about money, class, romance, and Hollywood’s “broke man propaganda”. It also cracked $100 million at the box office, which as much as people say doesn’t matter, when film as an industry is struggling as much as it currently is, it DOES matter. Especially a film from a female filmmaker, centered on a female protagonist, aimed at a female audience. These are the films people have said forever and continue to insist do not play, but $100 million in the bank is proof otherwise. It’s nothing but good news for Celine Song and Dakota Johnson, who is now onto her own directorial project.

Johnson will make her feature film debut as a director with a film currently titled A Tree Is Blue, which is preparing to film in Los Angeles next month (she’s also producing through her shingle TeaTime Pictures). The script is from Vanessa Burghardt, who co-starred with Johnson in 2022’s Cha Cha Real Smooth. Burghardt will also star in the film. Jessica Alba and Charli XCX are also in talks to star. 

Of course, Dakota Johnson is a FOT—a Friend of Taylor—and Charli XCX is currently on the Taylor Swift Enemies list. Here’s a full breakdown of the supposed feud, but if you don’t have time to read all that, the short version is that fans suppose lyrics from Charli’s song “Sympathy Is a Knife” reference Taylor (“I couldn't even be her if I tried”, “This one girl taps my insecurities/Don't know if it's real or if I'm spiraling”), and that Taylor’s rebuttal comes in “Actually Romantic”: 

I heard you call me ‘Boring Barbie’ when the coke's got you brave/

High-fived my ex and then you said you're glad he ghosted me/

Wrote a whole song saying it makes you sick to see my face/

As sometimes happens with Taylor’s albums, The Life of a Showgirl is growing on me, and I must admit “I heard you call me ‘Boring Barbie’ when the coke’s got you brave” is a bar. No one is saying this is Drake v Kendrick Part Deux, but this rivalry—which might entirely exist in fans’ heads—did pull a great line out of Taylor. I feel like she had that in the bank and just needed an excuse to pull it out. That’s why I don’t always buy the Taylor feud narratives. 

I genuinely believe she is a brilliant lyricist, I think she just has this stuff in her head regardless of what is actually happening in her life. But she’s trained her fans to find real-world connections with her lyrics, so they see feuds everywhere because Taylor still sees herself as the overlooked dweeb on the bleachers. She loves being an underdog, so her fans make her an underdog. Anyway, as I told Lainey, if Taylor’s friends refused to work with Taylor’s feuds, there would be no one left to work with. At this point, you’re either her friend or her feud. 

In other Dakota Johnson news, she did one of those gimmicky Q&A videos with Vogue Germany and said one of her red flags is “men who wear flip flops in public”. She broke up with Chris Martin earlier this summer. Chris Martin doesn’t just wear flip flops in public, he goes fully barefoot.

Double red flag…?

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