The Cruise-Pitt Bowl

Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt both have big movies coming out this year. Cruise has maybe his last Mission: Impossible film, The Final Reckoning, due in May, and Pitt has racecar vroom movie F1 in June. 

Big stars, big movies—big stakes. Neither of these films is cheap. F1 is rumored to be in the $300 million range, The Final Reckoning is said to be one of the most expensive films ever made, upwards of $400 million. So these big stars need their big movies to deliver in a big way. How to achieve that in our (in)attention economy? The Super Bowl! It’s only the biggest television event of the year!

Pitt and Cruise will appear on Fox’s pregame broadcast, and will have “prominent” roles. My question is will those roles be together? Pitt and Cruise famously avoid one another at events. Allegedly, there is no love lost between the former vampire co-stars, will football be the thing that ends whatever celebrity cold war they’ve been engaged in for the last thirty-ish years? Or will they be taking turns in the booth, maintaining their very demure distance from one another?

Honestly? This is a surefire way to guarantee I tune into the pregame show. I want to see if they acknowledge each other. If they do, whew, you KNOW it’s on the line with these movies this summer, because that’s how bad they need headlines. At least they have something to talk about—they can bond over their kids not speaking to them.

Attached: some Pitt and Cruise from the 90s and early 2000s. 

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What else happened today…

Menu sleuth! I didn’t know there’s a term for being the type of person who looks up menus before going to a restaurant. Yes, it’s nice to just find a place and give it a try, but also, eating out is expensive, and one way to proof against a bad time is to peruse the menu and see if the food is even appealing to you. I also just…love reading menus. I like to see how chefs put together meals. (Popsugar)

Everyone who wasn’t at AFI yesterday was at the Costume Designers Guild Awards. Janelle Monae remains undefeated on the red carpet. (Go Fug Yourself)

Gisele Bundchen had her child with her boyfriend, Joaquim Valente. It’s a boy and his middle name is River. No first name known yet. I wonder if that means they used a legacy name for his first and they’re going to call him River? It seems odd for a “source” to share the middle name as opposed to the first name. We also just don’t have to know his name at all, you know? Anyway, I like River. Solid name. Makes me think of River Phoenix, of course, but that’s a generational association that probably won’t stand out to the youths. (Celebitchy)

It’s better than deleting them—Warner Bros. is dropping free movies on Youtube. (The Verge)

Some things shouldn’t be DIY! Here’s a collection of stories about home remedies guaranteed to kill you from the olden times. (Atlas Obscura)