Mel B and Zac Efron reportedly had a “night of passion” after they met on a dating app. Yes, that Mel B. And yes, that Zac Efron. I read a lot of books that include nights of passion. Reading The Sun’s breakdown of Mel B and Zac Efron’s alleged tryst (these books often use the word “tryst”) was like reading one of my dirty romance novels and let me tell you, I was not mad at it. Not a bad way to kick of the week after a TIFF weekend of no sleep. 

The Sun doesn’t go into too much detail – you’ll have to fill those in for yourself – but what they do give us is that shortly after Mel B separated from her ex-husband and noted d-bag Stephen Belafonte last year, they say that Mel and Zac started “swapp[ing] flirty messages” (read: sexting) on a “super-exclusive dating app” (read: Raya). This story may be absolute bullsh-t but I love it so much. I love the idea of Mel B and Zac Efron flirting on Raya so much that the sexual tension built to a point where he drove to her place for a good old-fashioned booty call.  

He ended up driving over to her pad. They hit it off and spent a few enjoyable hours together…. It wasn’t exactly a meeting of minds. Neither saw it as long-term, but there was chemistry there. Mel thought Zac had an amazing body.

I don’t think you can call any encounter with Zac ‘dreads are rad, bruh’ Efron a “meeting of minds.” Are you laughing yet? Romance novels make me laugh unintentionally all the time. In true erotica style, Mel and Zac “spent a few enjoyable hours together.” Should I give us a minute with that visual? 

OK, we’re back. You’re welcome. 

Not that it matters but every other outlet keeps pointing out that Mel B is 13 years older than Zac. And? Get it, Mel B! Zac Efron and I are the same age which means he grew up in the height of the Spice Girls craze. He’s probably wanted to have a “night of passion” with Mel B since he hit puberty. Mel B got to rebound with “an amazing body” with no strings and no drama. So much of her post-split life has been filled with bitter custody battles and drama. IF this happened, sounds like everybody won in this scenario. 

Now, I’m obsessed with all the secret celebrity hookups that are probably happening on this “super-exclusive dating app” (cough, Raya). A friend of mine was on Raya a few months ago and saw Joshua Jackson (omg) and John Cusack (lol). Is everyone on Raya? WHO ELSE IS HOOKING UP? (Lainey: one of my friends said she saw Ben Affleck on Raya.) Someone do an expose on this. Please and thank you.