Jessica Simpson updated Instagram a few hours ago with this shot of her being groped by her baby father Eric Johnson. She’s wearing a headband with bunny ears. So that’s how she spent Easter.

And this is what happened on April Fool’s Day:

 

 

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on

 

And this is Valentine’s Day:

 

 

#FIFTYSHADESOFJOHNSON

A photo posted by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on

 

So the message here, the one I’m getting at least, is that whenever there’s a holiday, no matter what the holiday, if you’re Porny, you’re f-cking.

Starting not to be able to tell the difference between her and LeAnn Rimes. Simpson is MUCH richer but it all comes out the same wash, non?