All your nightmares are coming true.

In a move that surprised no one, Disney chief Bob Iger announced that not only are they continuing Star Wars with Episode VII, but they’ll also make spin-off films of popular characters. EW is reporting that two of the projects are centered on the origin story of Han Solo and a “bounty hunter adventure” starring Boba Fett (the guy who hands Han over to Jabba the Hutt at the end of Empire Strikes Back). I like Star Wars—The Empire Strikes Back is one of my all-time favorite films—but I’ve never gotten into all the ancillary books, comics, and animated shows, et cetera, that must account for Fett’s popularity among fans. I have always been a little bit baffled by how much people love him—he’s an assh*le! He betrays people! And he’s not even a particularly charismatic villain. I don’t get the enthusiasm, although I’m sure someone will email to educate me.

Han Solo, on the other hand, I TOTALLY get. I wish I’d made note of who said it so I could give proper credit, but I recently saw a tweet that said something like—I had a crush on Han Solo, and that’s how I knew I liked men, not boys. YES. Han Solo was my first crush (followed rapidly by Indiana Jones). He remains, to this day, a top-three favorite film character. He’s just SO COOL. Is there anyone cooler than Han Solo? No. Not even Indy, because during his down time he had a nerdy haircut, and Indiana Jones sometimes did really boneheaded things. Han Solo never did boneheaded things. Even when Leia is confessing her love as he’s about to be frozen Han is cool. He’s all, “I know.” And it’s like—OF COURSE YOU DO.

Ever since the announcement of the LucasFilm sale to Disney, Lainey has been petrified of Taylor Lautner being cast as young Han Solo—because this film was inevitable from the moment the ink dried on the contract of sale—as has everyone else.  Iger’s comments didn’t really narrow down an age range for how young “young Han” would be, only saying the film would take place before the events of Star Wars. Harrison Ford was 35 when Star Wars first came out, though, so “young Han” could still mean “thirty-something Han”. I think it more likely that instead of teenager Han we’ll deal with a guy about ten or so years before the events of Star Wars—getting chucked out of the Imperial Navy, hooking up with Chewbacca (I do know those two events are related), and getting the Millennium Falcon. (And maybe also doing the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs?)

That means casting someone in their mid-to-late twenties, along the lines of the casting for the Star Trek reboot. The competition to be the new Han Solo will be CRAZY—way, way more intense than anything that’s gone on with any superhero film. He’s such an iconic character, virtually a guaranteed career-making role. I hope they cast an unknown. I want to meet Han Solo and fall in love all over again.

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