Jake G: the Pants Issue

February 16, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at February 16, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Not to long ago, I posted this article about Brad Pitt’s pants, specifically the way he wears his pants, the way a man can wear a pair of pants and be even sexier than he’d be if he took them off. Brad Pitt has a body made for wearing pants right. David Beckham too. And my husband. When he’s not walkin’ around in sweaty tear-aways and turning me off with his lame-ass self styling, my husband can rock the pants. Jake Gyllenhaal, however, canNOT rock the pants. And it’s a major major deterrent. Perhaps the only thing keeping him from the Freebie Five. A man must look good in clothes, you know? Otherwise, why would you want to take them off? Said it before and I’ll say it again, I think it’s his body. Too much muscle in all the wrong places. Especially the ass/thigh area – critical in the Pants Department. Pants are better with long, toned thighs. Muscle good, condensed muscle bad. Condensed muscle can look chunky, chunky means pants don’t hang well. Pants that don’t hang well look like tight pants. Same goes for the bum. Desired bottom for premium pants perfection is tight and perky but on the narrow side with some elevation. Jake’s bum is tight and taut but kinda wide too. More like a girl’s bum. And the result is this: Jake in London this week wearing ill-fitting, too dark denim. Look at the awkward way they grab his groin… from the waist up, he’s fantastic. But from the waist down – kinda goofy. And until he fixes this little problem, I’m not sure he’s Freebie Five material. But still, at the very least, it’s more evidence on the Not Gay Side. After all, what self respecting ‘Mo would walk out in these pants??? Source via Source
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