Gwyneth’s vaginal dimsum
Every time anyone talks about steaming anything, my first thought, being Chinese and all, is dimsum: har gow, siu mai, shrimp noodle rolls, chicken feet, sticky rice wrapped in lotus leaf, pork wrapped in bean curd…
But definitely not pussy.
Which, apparently, is what Gwyneth Paltrow is recommending at GOOP - a spa that features a facility where you can steam your vagina that supposedly balances hormonal levels.
“Tikkun is the next level when it comes to Korean spas, combining high-tech far infrared heat with traditional Korean sauna therapies. So, if you want to lay down in a Himalayan salt brick tiled sauna, or sit in a Hwangto clay room, you get the added benefit of far infrared heat. And, in addition to the sauna rooms, there’s a long menu of massages and kick-ass body scrubs to complement the sauna time. We’re burying the lede though, because the real golden ticket here is the Mugworth V-Steam: You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it.”
Because Gwyneth is Gwyneth though, and nothing makes us happier than when Gwyneth is wrong, an OB/GYN has written a blog post to totally discredit Gwyneth’s vaginal dimsum preparation. Click here to read it if you want to but it’s long. Let me summarise: the doctor says steaming your pussy is bad for you. Another doctor tells PEOPLE that while there they may be very, very short term benefits to applying hot air to your vagina, the hormonal advantage claims made by G and her spa are bullsh-t.
OK. So do you predict a surge in business for the spa or a decrease in business at the spa – at least in the pussy steaming room? Don’t lie. I know some of you are curious.