Jennifer Aniston and a bottle of water

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2017 16:12:36 April 13, 2017 16:12:36

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux went out for dinner in Paris last night. Can I just say I’m still mad about the pants she wore to the Louis Vuitton event this week at the Louvre?

Will she ever give up the bootcut trouser?

In other news, Jen’s new smartwater Spring 2017 campaign shots were just released yesterday. And they’re …unintentionally hilarious. Have you seen them yet? This was the first image I saw:

She looks gorgeous and fit. It makes sense that she’d have a bottle of water with her on a hike with her dog. No problem here. My reaction was that I couldn’t wait to see the rest. But the rest …look like this:

Does anyone believe that she knows any of the people seated at the table forced to wear white because she has to be in black at the dinner party? The answer is no, because in the press release that accompanied these photos, they’ve included this line:

Known for throwing lavish dinner parties with close pals including Courtney Cox Arquette and Ellen Degeneres, the ad shows her pouring smartwater sparkling for some Hollywood extras, though buddy and hair stylist Chris McMillan sat in and kept the star laughing for the photo shoot.

Are you embarrassed? I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed that a line like that passed through screening. That how many people signed off on not only the blatant namedropping of all her famous friends but that they actually openly admitted that Jen was posing among a group of no-name Hollywood extras for hire and needed to have her hairstylist present to act as a buffer.

Also, WHYYYY couldn’t they have matched her eyeline up to a real person? Never mind, that’s a stupid question. It’s a stupid question because reality was not an objective for this photo shoot. As IF Jennifer Aniston walks red carpets, wearing beautiful gowns, HOLDING A BOTTLE OF WATER.

But the objective here was to sell the fact that smartwater is an integral part of her life, that Jennifer Aniston + smartwater are inextricably linked, that smartwater is weaved, seamlessly, into the Jennifer Aniston lifestyle. Unfortunately they’ve achieved the opposite effect. These moments, rather than seeming organic, look forced, unnatural, totally staged. It looks like a random water bottle shows up everywhere Jennifer Aniston goes. Kind of like a meme. Only not really. Because the beauty of a meme is that it happens organically. And there is nothing organic about these pictures.

On the most recent episode of Show Your Work Duana and I talked about celebrity endorsements. Duana mentioned that she has never believed Jennifer Aniston and Aveeno. It’s just never rang true for her. Jennifer Aniston has never convinced Duana that she uses Aveeno instead of La Mer – or even that she uses it alongside La Mer. As a brand spokesperson, Jennifer Aniston is not that good at showing her work. Which is baffling. Because she’s fully capable of it. So how do you explain the disconnect?

Photos:
FameFlynet, Bertrand Rindoff Petroff/ Getty Images

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