Natalie Portman: Globes Worst Dressed (Duana)
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Natalie Portman didn’t make an appearance last night. That is, sometimes nominees are involved in other projects or sketches so you see them in a different capacity than just sitting in their seats, waiting…but that didn’t happen tonight, and I wonder how she feels about it.
Maybe, being pregnant, she’s tired and was happy enough not to get up. I’m not going to pretend she’s happy about losing the Golden Globe but maybe she was not feeling it, giving a speech and then smiling at the inanity of the questions from the press room. Or maybe she was – maybe she was ready with comfortable shoes and a stance that showed off her dress best.
I kind of hope not though, because she didn’t look comfortable, and even though it’s not a heat wave in LA, that kind of 60’s-throwback that we were very, very clearly supposed to see was reminiscent of Jackie (probably especially when Jackie was pregnant) just seemed uncomfortable and bland and not worth the obvious effort. A whole lot of martyrdom for not much, you know?
I hated the dress – as though so much chartreuse demureness would remind us that she was devoted to her craft? It just made me feel itchy, and remember the word ‘Dacron’, and I didn’t like the hair, but I suppose if it works for her where Oscars voters are concerned, it will have been worth it.
What I don’t get is people who talk about how old she looks now. I know we’ve been talking about that great phrase, ‘persistent freaky baby quality’, but to me that’s an attitude, not a physical representation…and it’s not a bug, it’s a feature. No matter how favoured or anointed she is (more on that later), she can’t play a bereaved woman if nobody believes she is one.
The problem is that the deification of being publicly pregnant plus playing a woman who’s basically a saint means Natalie Portman is going to have zero fun through the rest of awards season. I saw her make a fist for an instant while talking to Ryan Seacrest and it reminded me of the Arthur the anteater meme. With that, I’m having more fun that Natalie Portman did, guaranteed.