Robert Pattinson is cold porridge
A while back a request came in for a career prospectus on Robert Pattinson, which was completely baffling because, despite being the human equivalent of a bowl of cold porridge—the English dude version of Oatmeal Amanda Seyfried, if you will—he’s working consistently and with very good filmmakers. In fact, RPattz is overbooked, forced to drop out of a project in order to stick with long-gestating Lost City of Z, which is supposed to start filming soon-ish. (The project locked financing earlier this year but they’ve had a hell of a time getting it off the ground.) So here’s my career prospectus: Robert Pattinson’s career is fine, but someone may want to check the production office of Lost City of Z and make sure the lights are still on.
Pattinson has actually just booked another role, this time playing a bank robber on the run in a movie called Good Time from filmmakers Josh and Benny Safdie. Good Time is described as a “neo-grindhouse caper”, and the bumbling-dangerous-person-on-the-run angle combined with the implied hyper violence of the grindhouse style makes this sound a bit like American Ultra, which stars Kristen Stewart. Maybe it’s a message. Maybe RPattz and KStew secretly communicate through suspiciously similar loglines. This is probably how they stay in touch with their imaginary children.