No Me Ames

November 22, 2016 15:25:11 Posted at November 22, 2016 15:25:11
Maria Posted by Maria

Last week, Lainey wrote about Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony at the Latin Grammys, how his wife Shannon De Lima wasn’t there, and whether coincidence or conspiracy was at play.

At the time, both insisted it was nothing. Sources told TMZ the kiss was “peer pressure fueled”. A kiss is just… well, you know.

The day after the Latin Grammys, Marc and his wife Shannon De Lima announced their split. A kiss is just a kiss? Sure sure. But is a kiss just a kiss when you are kissing JLo?

JLo, as we know, loves love. She is not apologetic about it. She is not shy about talking about love, or wanting to be loved, or ending a relationship when she feels she isn’t getting enough love. Her memoir is called True Love.  And when she commits, it’s with the intention of forever. It’s monogamy or nothing. You are in or you are out. And if she is not feeling that you are totally devoted, she will find a replacement – fast.

She and Diddy broke up in February 2001 and she married Cris Judd in September 2001. She and Ben broke up in January 2004 and she married Marc Anthony in June 2004. This is why Casper really worried us. He was her first relationship after her divorce from Marc Anthony and I thought they would at least get engaged. 

But she managed to show some restraint with him. She hired him and gave him a truck, but what’s a truck to Jennifer Lopez? That’s like me or you gifting someone a pair of tube socks. She also gave him a job though, making him creative director of her tour. Fortunately it stopped there. And she and Marc continued to blend their family and professional lives and it all seemed very loving, just like she likes it. In fact there was a rebound, but not for her: Marc met Shannon two months after he and JLo split.

A few years and happy Instagram photos later, JLo and Slum Bear broke up. Lainey and I wondered about where this would lead –maybe a high profile relationship (my futile Gossip Genie wish was her texting partner, Leo) or a quickie rebound marriage with a dancer from her Vegas residency. But it’s been quiet. Eerily quiet. Maybe she’s sick of relationships. Maybe she’s too busy with her career. Or maybe she had something, someone, else in mind that she was hanging on to.

And it’s not Ben Affleck.

In researching this, I went back to a 2011 story about why her marriage to Marc ended: he was controlling, jealous, he micro-managed her career. Five years on, her career is thriving – she has a Vegas residency and Shades of Blue and is working on an upcoming project with HBO. Her long-time manager Benny Medina is still by her side and she looks phenomenal. At 47, she is making bank and in control of her career.

For someone who has made her love life part of her brand, JLo is independent in her success.  She’s not setting up pap shots with her ex to secure an Oscar nomination. She doesn’t make walking the red carpet with her boyfriend a national holiday. She’s not performative or calculated in her romantic choices.

Which brings us back to that -- completely unimportant? -- kiss. Typically, JLo doesn’t look back. Endings stick. But is reuniting with your family, the father of your kids, going back? Or is that going home?

And for Marc – well, I think we pretty much all assume that he’s been totally in love with JLo since they first met, right? The first time around, he made himself very available to JLo after her breakup from Ben, which turned out to be a winning strategy. It also explains why he was so friendly with Casper, Marc was just smiling and biding his time until she got tired of having to pay Slum Bear’s Amex bill.

But we don’t need to go lower-tier and create drama here, we can be realistic. I’m putting a time stamp on this: Christmas. If we don’t see a definitive sign (like a new piece of jewellery) over the holidays I will move on. Even if Marc doesn’t.

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