Smutty Social Media, December 14, 2017

Maria Posted by Maria at December 14, 2017 18:21:07 December 14, 2017 18:21:07

A few months after making it Instagram official, Halle Berry and Alex Da Kid have broken up. He was seen at Catch with another woman (and Catch is not a place you go if you are on the down-low). Halle is (presumably) single. I’m going to Gossip Genie her again because my first attempt, Alexander Skarsgård, failed miserably. I want her to date a big-ass star. Lainey has mentioned Brad Pitt. Who else is single? Tom Cruise. Ha! Can you imagine? (Click to expand)

Halle's Insta Story

Lauren Conrad has made a career out of being basic bitch patient zero. I don’t mean that as a knock, I think it’s great that women can monetize their aesthetic labour and influence, which men have been doing forever. And even she is not basic enough for the “short hair don’t’ care” caption. People who write that obviously care the most.

 

A post shared by Lauren Conrad (@laurenconrad) on

Laura Dern does not agree with Lainey’s opinion on BB-8. What bugs me about this “homewrecking slut trollop hussy” (to quote the brilliant Michael K) is that I can’t get away from this little f-cker. My son is obsessed with him. BB-8 lunch kit, BB-8 Vans, BB-8 yogurt, BB-8 robot. I want to put a pillow over his beeping head.

A day in the life of Tiffany Haddish –the part about her wake-up call cracked me up. 

 

A post shared by Tiffany Haddish (@tiffanyhaddish) on

I don’t f-ck with My Little Pony, but I like this sweater on Gwen. There’s an edge to her style that makes this sweater less infantile. And it’s nice to see her out of the Christmas gowns she has been wearing for her appearances. 

 

A post shared by Moschino (@moschino) on

Don’t let anyone tell you what to think! (Except celebrities, specifically Ansel Elgort.)

 

 

O.M.G.

 

Photos:
Instagram

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