There’s been a lot of bitching about Brad Pitt’s pants lately. But here he is in Japan, for a press conference yesterday and on the red carpet today, in support of War Machine. And it looks like he’s finally been tailored. That white suit looks great on him, non? The pants are just right for his gait, a signature gait that’s been one of his sexiest attributes from the time we became aware of him. If I were him though, I’d start taking a pass on the tinted sunglasses. Between Brad and Johnny Depp, I now associate those glasses with midlife man crisis. Oh but hey, I just realised, they’re both premiering this weekend. On different platforms but there’s still a certain comparison here.

War Machine is available on Netflix this weekend and the reviews so far have been mixed – 58% on Rotten Tomatoes and 42% on Metacritic. Pirates 5 however is coming it at 34% on RT and 49% on Metacritic. Do we call it a draw?

Speaking of Johnny though, Universal released a still of the Dark Universe cast yesterday. With the release of The Mummy, starring Tom Cruise, in a couple of weeks, the studio formally announced plans for their classic monsters cinematic universe. Tom Cruise is super soldier (I think?) Nick Morton, Johnny Depp is The Invisible Man, Javier Bardem is Frankenstein’s Monster, and Sofia Boutella is The Mummy. With Russell Crowe playing Dr Jekyll, the head of Prodigium, the organisation that keeps the monsters together?

No f-cking idea how all of this works or if I’m even describing it right because … again… no f-cking idea. But someone wanted this to happen for some reason and Johnny’s been dying to play The Invisible Man forever. (Plus he needs the money.) Whatever this is though, come on, can’t they find a spot for Brad?