The second season for Jennifer Lopez’s Shades Of Blue premiered on Sunday which is why she was everywhere last week on promotion in New York. Here she is yesterday back in LA heading to a meeting. Sorry. I don’t want to talk about her work. Because I want to talk about her hair. Is that OK? Can we talk about her hair? Admittedly this is self-serving.

JLO is wearing a ponytail extension all the way down to her ass. I just tried extensions for the first time ever last week at the Oscars. It happened to be a ponytail extension. And I had no idea that it works like this:


Big day. Trying extensions for the first time. #etalkredcarpet #oscars

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I always thought it was a pre-set ponytail that you just jammed into your own ponytail. But apparently if you want it done properly, you wrap all that hair around your own ponytail and stick a thousand pins into it and make sure that your own hair and the extensions mix together well so that you can’t see where one ends and the other begins. And that’s how an extra extra extra long ponytail happens. Extra extra extra long like down to your ass. If you want a ponytail that goes to your ass, your hair basically has to grow to almost your knees to account for the length you lose when you put it up. To consider: it’s HEAVY. Especially if you want it pulled super tight. It’s not just the weight of the hair but also the weight of the pins and the pins sticking into your scalp. I had to pop a couple of Advil before Jordy started working and a couple more later on to prevent a headache.

But seriously?

I loved it. Like, this is me, in 2017, telling you that I’ve always been such a bitch ass judgy c-nt about extensions (as Kathleen called me out for recently) and now I’m like… when can I make that ass-long ponytail happen again? So I was wrong. And, as is always the case when you finally figure out you’re wrong, why didn’t I get right sooner?