Met Gala Beauty Block: Jessica Biel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 8, 2012 17:29:24 May 8, 2012 17:29:24

I honestly don’t know why this fringe is still in play. It covers everything. There’s nothing left to see. Some faces... sure. Some faces have some things to hide. I wish I could hide my nose, my droopy eyelid, and the part of my jaw that dips lower on one side than the other. Jessica Biel doesn’t have these problems. She is SO pretty. Now all I want to do is smash both my palms against her forehead and push that sh-t back. Let me see your pretty! Instead of letting that sh-t cover everything and pull the rest of it down.

Sometimes clothes know when they’re being worn by dull people. And they become dull as a result.
Does Jessica Biel’s perceived self match up to her actual self? I’m not sure she sees herself the way she really is. I think she thinks she’s some kind of Kirsten Dunst. That she has the sartorial sensibility to present this as an art piece, a fine example of the House of Prada.

Is that what he keeps telling her?

Because Justin Timberlake is the Word and the Way?

Well the Word and the Way could fix this unfinished hem. The Word and the Way probably picked out these amateur satin pink shoes. To go along with that hilarious tacky ring.

But at least he let her grow her ass back.

Dimitrios Kambouris/Larry Busacca/Getty

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