I have an unsettling theory to put forward.

Do you think that maybe Kerry Washington is the embodiment of a cliché?

You know the one, right? A person who is as beautiful inside as they are out? Look, I know, I’m on little sleep and it seems saccharine in the light of Monday morning. But let’s look at the evidence.

Kerry Washington was our collective best dressed. She told Ryan Seacrest that the dress had been on the Marc Jacobs runway about two days prior. It was so perfect  - Sarah said she looked like a ‘medieval queen’ – that even the parts that weren’t perfect were fantastic. When she spoke to Seacrest, I thought the shoulders and sleeves were maybe a tad too large. In stills, though, that thickening layer of armor at the bottom of the chain-mail falls so beautifully that they might as well have sewn it on her.

Then, though, the dress, already beautiful, goes on the woman who’s already beautiful – and she seems to make it even better everywhere she goes. When she’s with Seacrest, she’s chatty and playful. When she’s in the opening, she’s game and entertaining. When she’s in the front row, she’s giving good face on cue – and when she’s weeping in open empathy and admiration for Viola Davis, even before her name is shouted out, she’s gorgeous then too.

And then – and then there was the thing that happened, the Apple commercial that Canadians saw all of you talking about and assumed we’d have to miss out on. If you somehow didn’t see it, watch it here:

That is directed by Ava DuVernay, and who is the MVP of that thing? Who does the camera rest on? Who advances the narrative? Who would you most like to be having a dance party with to begin with?

It’s preposterous. She’s not only the most photogenic woman, she’s the most empathetic and the most exuberant and the most endearing. She wasn’t even a nominee! How are we not sick of her yet?

It’s got to be because of that dress.