PEOPLE reported on Friday that Orlando Bloom and Nina Dobrev are dating…but that it’s casual. Major focus on the “casual” though because both Orly and Nina were at Coachella this weekend and, as PEOPLE followed up on Sunday, he was “all over” a model called Ashley Haas. Major focus on the “all over” part of the story because it was Orly who was “all over” Ashley. While Nina was in the same room, just 15 ft away. The point? The point is that when PEOPLE said that Orlando and Nina were “casual”, what they really meant to say was that they’d hooked up – which is not the same as dating.

As you know, Orlando just got out of a yearlong relationship with Katy Perry. Getting “casual” with Nina and then humping a model five minutes later at Coachella is exactly what’s been prescribed to him. By whom? I’ll say Leonardo DiCaprio.

Leo was at Coachella too, because Leo never misses Coachella. Unfortunately there hasn’t been any footage of him dancing yet. But we can always throw back to that time he threw down all that choreography. This clip will never age for me:

When he’s with Leo, Orly’s never going to be the guy who wants it more than “casual”. It was enough that Orly spent a year exclusively with Katy Perry who has the temerity to be over 30 years old. Excusable though, only because with Katy, Orlando regained some fame. He is now more famous than he’s been in a decade. So you get out soon as you take what you came for. Which, I’m sure, Leo could understand. What he might probably have a harder time with is being with woman who’s not only no longer in her 20s but who has opinions. Who is getting more and more political. Who is becoming more and more active in lobbying for women’s rights. Who is more and more interested in using her voice. It’s not like there are talking roles for women in Leo’s world. Which is why I think Leo would have approved of the end of Katy and Orly. It’s a f-cking bummer when one of your boys brings home a woman who wants to use her brain.

Click here to see more photos of Leo and Orly together at Coachella at the Daily Mail.