As Lainey mentioned yesterday, when Leonardo DiCaprio goes on vacation, he goes on vacation. Leo was last seen in Ibiza and there are some fresh photos of him surrounded by millionaires (billionaires?), his adoring posse of friends and the official girlfriend.

Yes, it looks good to be Leo.

A few months ago, I was at a bachelorette in Vegas and we were at 1Oak (yes I’m too old for this) and after a lot of security clearing and hype, Leo appeared two tables away from us in a booth filled with model-types (for Vegas), pulling on an electronic cigarette and wearing his hat down low. (Fun fact: he has male and female security.)

After about a half hour of chatting with a blonde, texting and smoking a cigar, he got up: there was a flurry of activity, and out he danced, followed by his bros and, no joke, about 10 girls fully sprinting out after him. So that was my brush with Leo which of course reignited a massive crush (Romeo + Juliet era, I’ve never seen Titanic), followed by some serious sassing from Lainey.

Some points that were vigorously debated:

He dates interchangeable models that are much younger than him.
Me: So what? Look at Clooney and Jack Nicholson, loveable bachelors!

At 38, he is still clubbing like a 21-year-old, repeating the same scenario as above in different cities and with different, um, model-types, 7 nights a week.
Me: He works hard! He wants to let off some steam!

He’s a douche.

No amount of ribbing could sway me… until now. Look at these photos– it’s all a bit Richard Branson, no? Rich man, young model, extravagant toys.

Here’s the king of the world, flyboarding adjacent to a very expensive yacht while his admirers cheer him on. Do you think when the flyboard was rolled out, Leo went first? Trick question, OF COURSE he did. He always gets to go first.

So no matter how much I like his top ponytail or his movies, I, like Dean, have to bid farewell to the Leo I knew and loved.

Or maybe this is brilliant marketing for the excess and wealth displayed in The Wolf of Wall Street. Watching the trailer again, it looks like flyboarding would fit right in.. after dwarf-tossing.