Dear Gossips,

Martha Stewart was trending yesterday as she was announced, alongside Kim Petras, Megan Fox, and Brooks Nader, as one of this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover models. At 81 years old she is the oldest woman to ever be featured on the magazine’s front page. They’re calling her an OG influencer and that’s exactly right. Well before that word became a job title, Martha was influencing our weddings, our table settings, our flower arrangements, our menus.

Of course she’s an influencer. And she has somehow been able to transition from influencing on legacy platforms to influencing on digital platforms. She has several shows on streaming services, she podcasts, she consistently goes viral for thirst-trapping on Instagram, and yes, she even TikToks. She Tiktokked about her SI moment yesterday:

“Sports Illustrated for some unknown reason asked me Martha Stewart…” Girl, stop playing. There is a known reason. You’re Martha Stewart, you built an empire, then you went to jail, then you came out of jail and started getting high on second-hand smoke from Snoop Dogg, and you’re always serving looks on social media. Also you have great legs.

You know what else made me laugh? How she opens this video:

“Usually I’m motivated by pay.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is a fact. Martha loves money, she doesn’t pretend she doesn’t love money. Martha has always been expensive and superior. But here’s how Martha has changed, how the times have changed. Because there was a time when Martha and her ilk would have frowned upon what she’s doing now – the thirst traps, the selfies, the pouting… the over self-indulgence and vanity. Those pearls would have gone flying. And now? This is Martha now:

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Martha Stewart Gossip

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