Melissa McCarthy made a comment during an interview with MORE Magazine recently that reminded me of a conversation I recently had with Duana. Here’s McCarthy’s quote:

"I've been every size in the world. Parts of my twenties, I was in great shape, but I didn't appreciate it. If I was a 6 or an 8, I thought, why aren't I a 2 or a 4? I bought into it — I should be taller, thinner, have better hair. But I think that's part of being young. Now, especially with kids, you lose any sense of time or energy to worry about all the little stuff."

Duana and I were talking about moving. And packing. And the sh-t that comes up when you have to dig through your boxes and decide what to throw out. Remember when pictures came on paper and not on a little blinking screen in the palm of your hand? We were looking at photos of ourselves from 10 years ago and remembering who we were then. With a decade of perspective, we LIKED what we saw. Oh, yeah, that dress! Oh, we were cute!

But this is not what we were thinking when those shots were being taking. We were worrying. We wanted to be smaller. We wanted to be taller/shorter/glowier/fresher/stylish-er…whatever. The point is, in that moment, it’s never enough. It’s only enough when you look back.

And in THIS moment? In THIS moment, have we learned anything?

I wish I could pretend that I’ve learned more than I have. But the fact is, I still worry. My arms, my ass, my thighs, I worry. And, probably, in 10 years, when I pull up these files on what will then be considered an archaic usb stick, I’ll say the same thing. What the f-ck were you so worried about?

They worry, most of them. That’s why they choose Body over Face. 

Does it ever end?

I really want it to. I really hope it does. But sometimes I don’t know where to start. I don’t think it starts at BumpWatch. Like, a celebrity eats a big brunch and we accuse her of being pregnant. Behind that speculation is the implied conclusion there are only two possibilities: weight gain and its negative connotations, or pregnancy, in this case preferable. I once overheard a conversation in LA on a red carpet? “God, I’d rather be pregnant than have people say I’ve put on a few pounds.”

So…where do we start? If we can start anywhere anymore.

Perhaps we can start with …options. Melissa McCarthy is an option. And, on Girls, Lena Dunham is an option. I’ve written before about how I’m not one of those who complains about seeing Lena Dunham naked every episode. I want to see her naked until her version of naked is not just “normal” but … “desired”. Like, God I wish I had a body like Lena Dunham’s. Someone has to lead the way. Will that ever happen? What is my part in making that happen? Am I strong enough to do my part in making that happen? Do I have the character to be part of that conversation in making it happen? If I’m totally, totally honest, I’m so scared that I’m not.

Attached – McCarthy promoting The Heat this week in New York. Haven’t read any reliable reviews so far but it’ll be a close fight at the box office with White House Down this weekend. They’re projecting a maximum of $40 million too.

And Lena Dunham in New York yesterday looking cute in a little summer dress.